Life of a Deaf Baptist

Cardboard Testimonies

2008-11-15T11:27:00.001-06:00

This entry doesn't need words. Just click on the video and watch. You will be moved.
-xD

BREATHE!

2008-09-14T19:25:00.003-05:00

Yes I finally got some time off to catch my breath. I did what Patrick Starr would do, absolutely nothing. Usually I am a fairly productive person, getting nearly everything done in a day. However, yesterday was different.

Yesterday, I didnt leave the house. Yesterday, I stayed in my pajamas all day. Yesterday, I didnt even turn the stove or microwave on. Yesterday, I fasted. Yesterday was the least productive day so far this year. I did absolutely NOTHING. But by 2:00pm I was starting to feel like I was going mad, because by 2:00pm my day is half over with. Up at 4:30, at work by 5, off work at 3:00, then off to either class or AWANA Clubs with my daughter by 4 or 5 in the evening.

But after working four six-day workweeks in a row, it was starting to take its toll on my body. I was to the point that I was literally waking up exhausted every morning. Where even brushing my teeth became a chore. With hypoglycemia, this doesnt bode very well at all. I made it through the weeks.

But this past week I didnt want to dissappoint my daughter, I kissed my incentive and a day of pay goodbye to take my daughter to the fair parade. But not only was I taking her to the parade - I was also having her ill-behaved cousin join us becuase his mother didnt want to take him. (That could take up another blog entry altogether later). So I spent all day Friday wrangling two pre-schoolers in the heat so they could enjoy the parade. My daughter was happy and that is all that matters to me.

This week only gets busier as I have my first test on Thursday night. Eek, this could be mind numbing - me and linear equations and their applications do not go well together. However, me and a 2 1/2 page rough draft for composition was WONDERFUL. If you haven't noticed, I like to write, I like to write well. Needless to say, I have nothing but straight A's in my compostion class. In Algebra, Im drowning in a suckhole of numbers and variables. I need a calculator that can solve all the variables for me. Just give me 'X' for Pete's sake!

But for tonight, Im going to sit back, watch a TV show or two, drink coffee then go to bed around 9:30 or 10. And back the grind at 4:30 in the morning. I finally got my much needed 3 day weekend, but at a cost I'm afraid.

Deaf Baptist has changed layouts again.

2008-09-03T20:36:00.001-05:00

I grew tired of the dark page, and I think it was too much strain on the eyes so I opted for a new lighter layout that may or may not be better. Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Also the widgets will be re-added tomorrow possibly.

I have been incredibly busy

2008-09-03T18:33:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know it has been quite some time since I last posted an entry on here, but nonetheless I continue blogging on.

As you knew in previous posts, I had hopes of returning to school, well guess what - those hopes have materialized and I am now taking two courses at night at ATU - Russellville. I am taking composition and algebra. With me working full time, that is enough of a load to start with. I struggle with math as it is so I decided to pair it with an easy course such as comp so the stress isnt quite so much.

I go to class on Mondays and Thursdays from 6:30 - 9:00 pm. Then my composition class is being taken online through the same school which helps. I hope to get these two courses knocked out this semester so that I can take comp II and Algebra for General Education requirements.

What am I going for you ask? I am working on getting my degree in English Education. I was previously a Journalism major. But I decided to switch as you know that journalism isnt exactly conducive to being a single mother.

So right now my week looks like this
M__________T_________W_____________T___________F
Work______Work______Work__________Work________Work
Class_____Check_____AWANA_________Class_____Football
_________ATU mail

WHEW! Plus I have had to work the last two Saturdays and my Sundays are booked solid everyweek, so I haven't really been able to catch my breath.

But today I finally got a breather, sort of. I went to work this morning, and there were no lights! I thought 'weird no lights'. I walked up to the group standing outside. There was no power whatsoever. So we ended up standing outside in the rain from 5:30 AM until 9:30 when they finally let us come home as we could not run any production. I was soaked. I had two options, either stand out side in the rain or go stand in the dark, stiffling break room where I couldnt see or breath. I decided to stay outside underneath the awning.

Due to no production today, that is a gauranteed full day of work on Saturday unless some of the chicken got too warm and they tossed it out, but I doubt it as the freezer is well insulated for this reason.

There is flooding here and if people do not show up for work in the morning and we run just a few lines, that also means we work Saturday, so this is just a bad week altogether to even plan anything for Saturday which I originally had - I was going to take my daughter to one of her friends birthday party Saturday afternoon and now we can't. I wont tell my daughter yet though until the sign is posted at work we are working on Saturday.

But I suppose the upside is that we stood outside and did nothing for four hours and got paid for it. Crazy.

Thats all for now, so I hope to have another update posted sometime soon.

A New Beginning.

2008-08-18T19:29:00.002-05:00

Yes, it is that time of year again. Children return to the cool confines of schools across America, and parents return to the chaos of homework, athletics, and what have you not.

For me, this week also marks a new beginning. I, too, am also returning to school. More specifically to work on completing my Bachelor's Degree of Fine Arts, majoring in English Education. I plan to teach at the secondary level, where hopefully the majority of students will have matured a bit.

I formally begin classes on Thursday night, going two nights a week, while also taking an online course, through the same University.

So yes, I am a single mother working full time as well as completing college coursework, and I'm deaf. The upside is, that from here until Christmas, dull moments are going to be few and far between. I plan to start living at twice the speed of life. I'm tired of droning through life like a lemming doing only what it is commanded to do.

I want to have fun, I want to LIVE. Health problems and piddly paychecks be damned.

What do I plan to do? One put back money starting now to plan a HUGE week-long vacation for next summer. I may do a week long road trip or I may spend a week at a resort of some sorting, flying out and flying back.

Secondly, I want to really put a dent in that degree I'm working on. I dont want to be one of those people that spend 10 years going to school for a 4 year degree. Finishing that ONLY when my own child starts college. Not good. I want to better her life NOW while she's young enough to enjoy and realize that mom made every effort for her.

Third, I want to do something I've never experienced. For most people I have already done it all, seen it all, blah blah. But there's a couple things on my Life's To Do list I want to mark off this year.
A) I want to fly in an airplane. Yep, that's correct. I have never been on an airplane. Not that I'm afraid of heights, its just that I have never been presented the chance to experience it.
B) I want to see the ocean. I know its not far, and I could probably get there in a day, but once again I have never been presented with the opportunity to see it in real life for myself. I want to know what the salty air smells like. I want to know what it feels like to walk on a beach with waves crashing at my feet.

A new beginning, a step into the light. I feel like I'm on the edge of something wonderful. Wish me well in the new beginning hoping that I succeed in at least one thing.

Political Hogwash in my Inbox

2008-06-09T20:13:00.002-05:00

Yes its an election year complaint. If you have email and you've got friends, you've likely been 'forwarded' these political smear campaign emails claiming that one or both of the nominees are the 'Devil'.

An example of such hogwash:
Subject: Who is Barack Obama?

whether our bleeding-heart, secular, Liberal friends believe it or not. This man fits every description from =the Bible of the 'Anti-Christ'!

I'm just glad to know that there are others that are frightened by this =man!

Who is Barack Obama?

Very interesting and something that should be considered in your choice.

If you do not ever forward anything else, please
forward this to all your contacts...this is very scary to
think of what lies ahead of us here in our own United
States...better heed this and pray about it and share it.

=
/> snopes.com
< =
/> http://snopes.com >' confirms this
is factual. Check for yourself.

Who is Barack Obama?

Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack
Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu ,
Hawaii , to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM
from Nyangoma-Kogel , Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHEIST from
Wichita , Kansas =20

Obama's parents met at the
University of Hawaii .
When Obama was two years old, his parents
divorced. His father returned to
Kenya . His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL
Muslim from Indonesia . When Obama was 6 years
old, the family relocate
to Indonesia . Obama attended
& nbsp;a MUSLIM school in Jakarta . He also spent two
years in a Catholic school.

Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that
he is a Muslim . He is quick to point out that, 'He was once
a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school.'

Obama's political handlers are attempting to
make it appear that that he is not a radical.

Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this =
influence was
temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to
Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence =
over his
son's education.

Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, =
introduced his
stepson to Islam. Obama
was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta .

Wahabism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by the Muslim =
terrorists
who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since it is =
politically
expedient to be a CHRIS TIAN when seeking major
public office in the United States , Barack Hussein Obama has
joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay
his Muslim background. ALSO, keep in mind that when he was
sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Koran.
Barack Hussein Obama will NOT recite the Pledge of Allegiance nor will =
he show any
reverence for our flag. While others place their hands over their =
hearts, Obama
turns his back to the flag and slouches. Do you want someone like this =
as your PRESIDENT?

Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential =
candidacy.

The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside =
out, what
better way to start than at the highest level - through the
President of the United States , one of their own! The
Bible says 'He will come from among you!'

Please forward to everyone you know.

Would you want this man leading our country?

NOT ME!!!

=20
WITHOUT GOD, WE ARE NOTHING!!!=20

=20

=20

What turns me off altogether from the very get-go is the fact that the Subject line contains the name of a Presidential candidate.

Secondly, skimming down the email, it is ill-formatted. The links are not true links to http://www.snopes.com. Hovering your cursor over them reveals another source code or 'link source' that is questionable and therefore I do not click. It is simply formatted to fool one into clicking the link. This chaps my rear-end for two reasons, one of which is obvious - it discredits a reputable source of information by 'piggybacking' the name to a dubious source of information. This is illegal, and in the brick and mortar world - their have been civil suits and large law suits over this practice.

Reading the actual content reveals even more bull, best put on your waders because it is about to get thick!
It first states that Barack Obama 'fits every discription of the Anti-Christ' from the book of Revelations. I think someone has been spending WAAAAAAY too much time watching those cheesy 'Left-Behind' movie series from the late 90s. Its Hollywood, it is fabricated, cannot be issued as fact, simply prophesy. It is impossible to state the future as fact because it has not happened yet. No one can really say what the Anti-Christ will look like or will manifest itself as. A Presidential Candidate is just a sitting duck for this type of stuff. A perfect target for the media, sadly.

Before it even gets to the juicy content - it begs the reader to forward it to all of their friends before really even reading it and considering it's 'message'. People who blidly forward this junk should be banished from the Internet altogether.

Then it offers the fake links to snopes.com claiming that it is factual.

Then it states that his parents are Muslim and Atheist. For Pete's sake, does it matter what diety one's parent's worship? This is a very weak argument for the sake of the smear campaign put forth by the McCain supporters. One's parents can be Wiccans and yet the person of discussion (in this case it is Obama) can be a Christian. You're not BORN into Christianity, you have to ask your way into it according to the Scriptures. Ah yes, more political hogwash, and sadly using religion to justify their words. They'll answer for it soon enough.

His parents divorced at age two - his mother then remarried to a supposed 'radical' Muslim. Again who cares, this is polital poop and not much more. My above statements reaffirm why this information is yet another weak argument for the McCain supporters.

When Obama was 6 his family relocated to Indonesia and he attended a Muslim school as well as a Catholic School. DOES IT MATTER WHERE HE WAS EDUCATED? Indonesia has a very large Muslim population as well as a Catholic population. Just because he wasnt educated in the public school system or a private Christian school in the good ole US of A doesnt mean he necessarily adheres to the beliefs of the Muslims or Catholics. Here in America where we want to admit it or not, we have Muslim and Jewish children attending Catholic or Christian charter schools right here. Why? Because it boils down to the fact that the parents want the best education possible for their children. Now couldnt it have been that Obama's Momma and Step-father only wanted to ensure that he got the best education possible regardless of the religious affiliation of the school? Absolutely. Some people just don't want to admit this.

'He takes great care to hide the fact that he is Muslim and that he once attended a Catholic school.' Well gee golly molly! Could it simply be that he converted from Islam to Christianity? I think someone is just wanting to beat the dead Muslim horse some more just for the sake of argument.

The final bits that his advisors and campaign handlers are downplaying his Islam and his affiliation to the Church of Christ and etc. And that he does not show reverence for the flag and that he used a Koran to be sworn into office?

DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHEN WE'VE GOT GUYS BUSTING THEIR TAILS OVERSEAS?

The part about irreverence is hooey. And those throwing a hissy fit over whether or not Obama wears a silly pin need to get a life.

Those who start and send such emails should put their hands on the computer desk and give it a good shove and push themselves AWAY from the computer and learn to get their information from more reputable sources other than random emails floating into their inboxes as well as their posterior.

For those of you who send me such emails - I never read them, I simply toss them into the junk box without ever opening them. But for the sake of blogging I opened one today to use as an example in my blog. :)

Neon Bird

2008-06-03T20:56:00.002-05:00

Some of you may have noticed the neon bird widget at the footer of this page, if you haven't scroll down to the bottom for a moment to take a peek. It is a countdown ticker for a DVD release of Darren Hayes' 'Time Machine Tour'.

But you mostly notice the neon bird, the origami crane which is the main theme for the entire album and DVD series for this go around. (For the record he is possibly working on some new stuff, but nothing for sure yet, just a mention of being in between albums on his blog.)

Well if you go to www.neonbird.com, you can learn how to make an origami swan. (I have made a trio of them ranging from large to small.)

Darren has decided to launch an experiment of random kindness, and your left wondering what does origami have anything to do with kindness?

Well in ancient Japanese tradition, the unfolding of paper releases a wish to be fullfilled.

What you are supposed to do is, get some square paper and write a wish on it for a friend, a relative, or a random person. Then follow the instructions on neonbird.com on how to properly fold it. Once you have folded it, write 'A wish for you' on one of the wings then leave your swan in random places, mail it, leave it at their door step, office desk, anywhere. You can even directly hand them to their reciepients as a small gift.

I will continue practicing on a few more until I have gotten perfection with them. Once I am satisfied, I will purchase origami paper from a craft store then make several to send to the people I care about.

I will post photos of them before delivering them.

Also if you want to take part in the neon bird version, be sure to write 'www.neonbird.com' somewhere on the swan so that they will visit and hopefully 'register' their swans with th site.

There is nothing quite like seeing the smile of someones face when they receive a random act of kindness. This is just one unique way of saying/doing so. Be sure to check back for pictures in the next day or so.

Where You Want To Be

2008-06-02T22:41:00.003-05:00

Yes this post is titled after a Darren Hayes song of the same title. As I listened to the lyrics thoughts and memories of close friends past came flooding in. Good times and bad times and intimate moments shared.

Out of the few friends I have made in life - I'm the one that's failed or so it seems. Am I jealous? Not really, but sometimes I wonder if they are really happy with what theyve ended up with. It terms of worldy measures of success and material things, yes these people went on to be very successful and I am glad they accomplished everything they set out to do. But I have stop and wonder - are they really where they wanted to be? Did they wait for love or did they settle for someone to hold?

I don't have much to offer in terms of money, or things, but I have my love to give and frankly to me, thats worth more than money or gold.

But at the same time, when people would imagine that I am content of where I've landed, and considering where I've been. I still feel this void that desires to be filled. I have this longing for something to make me whole, complete, a finished work. Something that can allow me to look back on my life and say 'Hey it was worth it and I'd do it all again to get right back here.'

Do I desire to go higher? Absolutely. Anything has got to beat being a single mother working in foodservice and given the rising cost of living, obviously cannot make it on her own, and consequently, setting her child up for the same fate becuase thats all the child knows. I want to better my life so that in turn I can better my daughter's life. That's my motive.

Where do I want to be? I don't know. I do know that I want to break free of the glass ceiling thats holding me in. For now is slow-going, almost feeling like Im trudging through a swamp in search of dry land.

What happened to my friends? We grew apart and Im sad that I don't have these relationships in my present life. During these relationships I had the best memories of my life and I felt like I was going places. But sadly, I turned a sharp left when I should have turned right. But that's life, sometimes it can be full of regrets and memories, could have beens, and hopes for a higher future.

Maybe someday I'll find another decent somebody to share my life with.

Time Machine Tour DVD Trailer released on YouTube.

2008-05-30T21:35:00.001-05:00

Wow, if this is only a hint of what the DVD will entail, this will be money well worth spent.

Video: Sexy blender.

2008-05-30T19:42:00.001-05:00

This was taken while on vacation in Texas, we were all up late and had clearly lost our minds when this was taken. Enjoy the laughs.

Im back from Texas!

2008-05-29T23:21:00.002-05:00

Yes I have returned from Texas and I am glad to be back home, back in my own comfy bed. Ahhhh!

We planned to return today, but not in the way expected. One of my mates got sick due to some sort of airborne bug that gives you a VERY upset stomach and you're going from both ends. Well she stayed behind in Texas while me, my DD, and my friend's mom came back to AR. My friend's mom is headed back to Texas as we speak and will call in the morning to let me know she made it OK. I wouldve stayed, but

1.) I did not want me nor my DD to get sick from this bug.

2.) I was getting restless from having spent only 1 day out and about, the rest of the time was spent loafing or sleeping. Stuff I could have easily done at home. Im not pleased with the vacation overall.

3.) I was more than ready to get away from the controlling mother. (not me).

I did enjoy the time I was able to get out, but I just feel like Ive been used as a means to take someone else on vacation rather than getting a vacation of my own. I doubt I will ever return to this part of Texas given the circumstances and the interesting information Ive received and the things I have seen.

So I will simply put a list of photos here for you to view:

An old Victorian-era style house that is now a Bed & Breakfast.
Zoom of the lion's head on the B&B.
My DD and I posing on the train at the train museum.
An old stagecoach hotel in Denison, and yes it has actually been there since stagecoach times.
The photo of the train at the train museum.

Denison's official welcome sign.
My DD posing whilst outside playing with the other kids.
Another pose, this time in grayscale or B&W.
A really good Willie Nelson look-alike.
Logo of the local depot on the side of a train at the train museum.
President Dwight D. Eisenhower's birthplace. As you can see it is well protected from terrorists with a wooden fence, some bushes, and OMG even a chain-link fence! LOL.
Life size sculpture of a full grown horse.
Deer are the same size as real deer.
Life-size sculpture of a buffalo.

I wish I had more exciting bits to share, but sadly due to circumstances I do not. Maybe next year's vacation will be better.

Live from Denison, TX!!

2008-05-24T21:10:00.004-05:00

Hello! We are live from Denison, TX via wireless Internet. Yesterday we departed from Danville at approximately 2:00 pm, and drove 8 hours to our destination.

We had four major stops along the way, with one being quite unexpected. My daughter's lunch did not agree with her just outside DeQueen, AR. That required an emergency stop on the side of the road for a clean up and a change of clothes. Thank the Good Lord that we had airconditioning. And let's just say that I will not be eating macaroni and cheese for quite some time. ICK!

Then we debated whether or not we should eat in DeQueen depending on how my daughter was feeling. Well, actually she felt better and even returned to her talkitive self and said she was hungry so we stopped at the 'Ranch House' Restaurant in town for some wonderful food. I had the Chicken Fried Steak and WOW!, it was good and I hate to admit this but the food there is better than alot of the food in Danville and some cases Russellville as well. Maddie had chicken and fries and ate quite well. My mates, Sharon and Juaniva both also had the chicken fried steak. Needless to say we left satisfied and wasn't hungry again until breakfast this morning.

We arrived in Denison around 11:00 pm, we unloaded, got cleaned up and went immediately to bed.

This morning was off to a jumpstart. Laying there in bed partially conscious I felt the pitter patter of feet running towards the door then BOOM!! I jump up to see a young boy of not more than 4 years and an older lady barreling through the door followed by my mate Sharon laughing hysterically. Appearently, the boy was told that someone was sleeping in there and curiosity beckoned him to look and see, his grandmother followed to try and stop him only she reached him only as he burst through the door. Startling at first but funny looking back on it.

This was only the start of many oopsies for me. I went to pour one my mates a cup of coffee only to pour coffee all over myself as well as the counter top as well as having coffee grounds all around. My mates laughing hysterically, we all agreed that if it were going to happen, it was going to happen to me. I still think it was rigged.

Later we went grocery shopping to pick up some needed items. We got a fun cart that was shaped like a race car, only it would not go into the direction guided into. 'Nanu' somehow managed to get it wedged into a shelf and I thought to help I should grab the front end and pull it over. Only when I grabbed it, the entire cab portion came off and I was left standing in the aisle holding a large piece of shopping cart. Several other customers around me saw the entire spectacle and one lady in a bright green shirt gave me a standing ovation and were laughing. I'm telling you whether intentional or not I am usually in the middle of the action. I put the piece back on and ensured it was snapped in place.

That was the last of the hysterics for the day and I will conclude this with photos from our day which included feeding chickens and a rabbit on the farm.

Giant maze on the Christmas Tree farm next door. It took us close to 15 minutes to complete it and find our way out.

my daughter feeding the baby chicks.

Maddie and 'Nanu' feeds the roosters and hens in the laying pen.
Maddie feeding the little chicks again.Farm fresh eggs for cooking - YUM!

Roosters (above and below)

Oreo the farm bunny.

What to pack in carry-on and what to pack for the luggage??

2008-05-19T21:09:00.002-05:00

Ah 3 days til the day of departure. Its not so much that I dont have enough luggage for everything its just the sorting out what needs to be packed in a carry-on bag for the cab and what needs to go in the luggage in the truck bed.

I have since invest $10.00 USD for a device that is basically a backpack for your seat and the person in the back seat has access to it. Why? Because I need to take several things that will keep my DD occupied for those lulls in conversation during a road trip. I will have her coloring books and some crayons, an activity set, as well as some short picture books for reading. No movies, no DVD player, nada. I dont want her growing up feeling like she has to constantly be plugged into something to feel human. (I honestly feel robotic when I'm running around work wearing my iPod.)

I will be taking the laptop in order to provide a daily summary of events whenever possible as well as uploading photos to share. My problem is this: with the small icechest in the cab between the back seat and the transom, my Sony DSC-H7 Camera (It is a full-size camera, not a wimpy P&S)in the bag of course with its accessories and a spare memory stick. My tripod, my laptop and its accessories, plus the overly priced, overy done 'auto safety kit' I absolutely had to buy (not my idea folks) when I could have put one together myself for less than half the price of the one I bought. Sometimes those package deals arent such good deals after all.

Where and how am I going to fit all of this in? These are items I dont feel safe just leaving in the bed of my truck- these are high dollar valuables I have worked my tail off for. Well I can easily leave the safety kit in the truck bed and not worry, I mean who is going to steal a safety kit anyway? Mr. Safety?

Right now - I'm trying to figure out how to get all of my needed laundry done so that come Thursday night all I have to do is pack and gather essential items and toss it in the back of the cab before I go to bed so that I am all set for Friday morning. Get up go to work, volunteer out, come home change out of my work clothes, change into travel clothes, get gas, get my mates, cash our checks, get my DD, then were off.

ROAD TRIP!!

2008-05-18T12:16:00.002-05:00

OK Today begins the countdown to my road trip to Texas. We are planning to leave Friday morning, and Friday afternoon at the latest. We are headed to the Witchita Falls area of TX, specifically the suburbs of Denison. The vehicle of choice is my 2001 Ford SporTrac, dubbed, 'Bubba'. So any future references of the SporTrac will simply be 'Bubba'.

The overall driving time will be around 8 hours so it will be done straight through, with one major stop in De Queen, AR for a late lunch or dinner, again depending on the departure time.

I will try to keep the blog updated throughout the trip, from the countdown to the departure day as well as the trip itself. I will include vlogs and photos where possible using my Sony DSC-H7.

Until the next entry I leave you with a link of some tourism information of the area I will be visiting.

City of Denison, TX.

Guest Vlog: Access to ALL music WARNING: not suitable for children.

2008-05-13T19:17:00.002-05:00

First the video:

Commentary by me:
Finally! Something from the same old 'let's-interpret-hymns-for-the-deaf' to something that some if not a lot of deafies like. Not all deafies are holy rollers, some are hardcore and love it. Don't get me wrong I believe in Jesus Christ and spreading His word, but sadly it's often thought of as a 'new' idea when in fact interpreting only 'nice' music to the deaf has been around for decades if not centuries. Also I dont share the same views and perspectives as Manson, but I do believe in keeping an open mind to new experiences.

The State of Connection

2008-05-11T20:03:00.002-05:00

As I sit here sipping my coffee, I catch a glimpse of a show on National Geographic. An entire hour long prime time slot is dedicated to a popular video on YouTube called 'Battle at Kruger'.

I realize that our need to stay connected at all times has become the norm, even when we feel the need to disconnect ourselves we often feel that we would be missing something if we did.

Cell phones, laptops, internet, tellyboxes, and iPods in our earholes. If we are not plugged in to some sort of electrical device we feel naked. Welcome to the 21st century.

In recent times, you tube videos have made national news headlines of teenage girls ganging up on one of their unlucky classmates and beating them to a pulp.

Others are of teenagers protesting the lack of an adequate skating park in Hot Springs AR.

MySpace, YouTube, Google, and Hotmail.

We have 26 gazillion ways to connect to each other. And 26 gazillion ways for those whom we do not want to have contact with to contact us (or at least attempt to). For the latter, thank god there are 'delete' buttons for this, as well as the 'decline' buttons on Facebook.

These are the times that anyone can be published online via Blogger, Wordpress, and others. The day to day documentation of the life of Joe Blow.

What would happen should the lights go out? Would we just stare blankly at our tellyboxes or would we begrudgingly engage in conversations with our housemates? Would we pull out the board games of decades ago and drag the kids in from their rooms for a family game night?

No, I dont think so. I think we would wander aimlessly in our minds searching for something to feed it to entertain it while we take on our day to day tasks. We would dust off the books from our bookshelves and read them before we realized the best storylines come from reality. The best entertainment can only happen in real life.

I pity those who are lonely and have shut themselves in to the Internet believing the world is at their fingertips. The information about the world at their fingertips, but the experiences of that world lie just outside their doors.

We live in more than just states of a nation, we live in a state of connection becuase rarely do you meet someone that doesnt at least have cell phone and/or an internet connection.

Sometimes I wonder if man would go mad should he find himself completely disconnected with the modern means. Instead having to rely on mail from the mailbox and having to wait several days for a reply versus having an instant reply.

New Truck

2008-04-25T17:56:00.002-05:00

Yes that is correct I have purchased a new truck. I settled on the gold 2001 SporTrac and it is nice! I paid $3,000 USD down and my monthly payments are $145 USD a month for 30 months. Not a bad deal! Not only that I traded my green monster in for $200 USD from the dealer and this is the sad part - the dealer said "It would cost more to fix it that what it is worth." and I agree with him 100%. While the green monster was pretty beat up she was more reliable than she looked. The sad part? Her blue book value was less than what I make a week at work.

Pic of the green monster the only one I have on photobucket:

And photos of my new ride: a 2001 Ford SporTrac

I am very happy with it. It handles well and rides very smooth. I love the bed extension as well as the power point in the truck bed, the power windows and even the back glass is automatic. It is an automatic v6 engine and gets 21 mpg, not bad for a sport utility truck or SUT. I love everything about it. I have gotten compliments on it ranging from cute, sweet, and sexy which is giving me mental visions of a Victoria's Secret model, lol. Now that I have a vacation coming up the week of May 26th I will have some time to enjoy my new ride. Im very proud of it.

Truck Shopping Day 1

2008-04-20T07:13:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was day one of truck shopping. We found not one or two of what I was looking for, but four of them. One of the models we looked at was a supernice 2004 model SporTrac, XLT edition, cloud white in color and very few miles. Asking price $19,995 - way outside my budget range - but the sting of the price was enough to turn me off to it.

Second model was a 2001 SporTrac, metallic tan in color 97000 miles on the sucker and not to mention a few dings and dongs in the body. It is obviously used but not abused. Asking price is $6,995. Very affordable - we are looking at monthly payments of less than $200 a month for 30 months. Considering the damage Ive done to my current vehicle I can live with a few dings and dongs and high mileage. I test drove it and it runs smoother and is perfectly aligned unlike what I have, but it's stuff I can live with if need be.

The third one is one that the dealership has not yet put out on the lot for sale yet, but rather one theyve had for about 2-3 days and are waiting to have it detailed and checked before it goes on the lot, normal car dealership stuff, but I am going to keep an eye out for that one for the next week or two.

The fourth one we we looked at was a 2005 SporTrac, black in color, 35000 miles, asking price is $18,500 - sales tax paid. It was very clean and very few dings and dongs but one problem, the battery was dead in it. That right there put some red flags up Im tempted though thinking I can get the dealer to replace the battery but it could be more than just the battery so Im mentally pinching myself everytime I think about it. I dont want a lemon on my hands.

So far that is what we have found and the one we are looking the closest at is the 2001 tan color model going for $6,995. We have already made an offer but we are going to let them sit on it for a day or two and see what happens next. Dad will be contacting them about it tomorrow.

My heart isnt set on anything yet until I find an exceptionally good deal that would be ludicrous to pass up. We have also looked on the Internet as well as newspaper ads and I have suckered an uncle into looking around Little Rock for me. Hopefully in one of these avenues something will turn up.

I will continue to keep the progress posted as we go along.

Sick

2008-04-19T09:12:00.004-05:00

Update: I have finally been notified of a source confirming that this in fact a hoax, but it sure did get a lot of upheaval. I feel like my pants have been pulled down and my posterior slapped in order to make some sort of cheap point that people will react to what they are told to like sheep. G. Vargas ultimately did feed and water the dog and was released to the streets where it was originally captured. This could have had a better ending, but maybe somone in Costa Rica has spotted this dog on the streets and taken it in. At least it would be one less starving dog on the streets.

G. Vargas, also known as 'Habacuc' has garnered worldwide attention for using a dying dog as an art form. Story goes that he paid two boys to capture this malnourished and sick dog from the streets and he took it to a museum to be a part of an art exhibit.

His exhibit was titled 'You are what you eat.' The letters were made entirely of dog food. He tethered the dog into a corner and left it there for days without food or water and in obvious need of urgent medical care.

Was this an exhibit to bring awareness to the starving and abandoned animals in his country? NO. The exhibit was entirely done to memorialize a criminal that was mauled by two Rottweilers that were trained to protect property.

This man is sick and twisted beyond comprehension. Despite pleas from exhibit visitors to free the dog, he refused the release of the animal.

Why does an innocent creation of God have to suffer so needlessly at the hands of humans? He has been invited to represent his country of Costa Rica at the 2008 Bienal Centroamericana Honduras and repeat this act of cruelty as an art form.

Please sign the petition to ban him from the event - the more signatures the better!
Sign the Petition

Below are photos of this so-called 'art exhibit' *WARNING - photos may be graphic to some audiences*

Get the word out - make sure everyone you know, also knows about this disgusting form of abuse, conveneinently disguised at 'art'.

The silliest things people have said...

2008-04-13T22:10:00.002-05:00

OK this is something I can no longer ignore. Over the course of the last several weeks I have heard many stupid comments in abundance from random people. Some of the best I've heard recently? Read on.

1. Them:'I am thinking about getting a part-time job at the hospital working just one day a week for some extra money.'
Me: 'Oh you are huh?'
Them: 'Yeah, but I just feel so tired, I hope Lisa (last name witheld) lets me go home today though.'
Me: 'Wouldnt it just be easier for you to work everyday at your one job rather than try to get a one day a week part-time job along with your 5-6 day a week job?'
Them: 'What?'

2. Them: You know what was wrong with the baby?
Me: What?
Them: The doctor said she is allergic to eggs.'
Me: Oh that's too bad then, no green eggs and ham for them, eh?'
The next day- Them: (same person) You know what was wrong with the baby?
Me: She's allergic to eggs?
Them: No, she had an infection.
Me: Oh well I hope she gets better.
The next day - Them: (Same person) You know what was wrong with the baby?
Me: No - but Im sure its different than the last two maladies.
Them: The doctor said she may have a stomach virus and she threw up all over the bed 5 times last night.
Me: Well then I feel sorry for the both of you.
The next day - Them: (Same person) Do you know what's wrong with the baby?
Me: Yes I do - she suffers from an overly dramatic and incompetent caregiver that cannot assimilate the truth and may or may not suffer from a mental disorder in which she uses untruthfulness and storytelling to gain sympathy and pity from others.
Them: What?

3. Them: I think I may be pregnant
Me: Oh, thats not good.
Them: Yeah a guy tried to rape me.
Me: Oh, did he actually penetrate?
Them: No but he tried to take my clothes off and he beat me with a cane pole from down by the river.
Me: Oh was this an immaculate conception?
Them: No, I was on birth control!

4. Also after having read a certain blog which I will not name for privacy reasons, the author stated that earning a doctorate degree was likened to having a job - only problem is this - the author to my knowledge has never held down a job, nor even needed to hold down a regular 40 hour per week job. Uhhh the only rebuttal I can offer is this - come down to PJP with me bud and work line 10 cutting shoulders for a while, then let's compare that sitting in a chair reading books all day to standing on a stretched aluminum stand on concrete floors for 8 hours a day 5-6 days a week. And you have to cut shoulders all day - there is no rotation of line jobs each round like there is at other companies. Oh and by the way your surrounded by non-English speaking immigrants and crabby middle aged menopausal women for line bosses. I don't know about you, but I would much rather go for earning the doctoral degree rather than spend my life cutting poultry.

Thats my top 4 for now. I will add more silly sayings as I get them. There must be something in the water though because Ive been getting alot of them as of recently.

I'll Bet He Was Cool

2008-04-07T16:07:00.004-05:00

The other day while listening to this song on the iPod via the car stereo I got to thinking - what would Jesus be like today?

Darren Hayes took a funny twist on that - but I can honestly see Jesus doing some of that.

Darren asks "What would happen if He just passed you by?
Would you be scared?
Would you believe in Him?
Or would bust your asses to get him institutionalized?"

What would I do? Hmm Id would probably turn into a teenaged girl again, point at Him and say "OMG - Its JESUS!", and then fall over flat. LOL.

Would I be scared? Probably not since He comes in peace - at least for me anyway.

Would I believe in Him - I'd be pinching myself or having my occipitals checked but yeah I would believe in Him!

Would I try to get Him institutionalized? Well if I didnt know I was looking at Jesus then yeah I would probably think he's just another religous nut walking down the street and would be better served in the State Hospital. We have alot of religious nutcases walking around today claiming to be Jesus, so Im hoping he can differentiate himself from the rest of them or risk being put in jail.

Would he wear Tommy Hilfiger or Urban Outfitter? No, I dont think so, both of those are outdated and so 90's. Would he like Gaultier? Them high-dollar threads, yep! Who wouldn't? But knowing Jesus, we would never find him in that, but he'd like it if he tried it.

Would he be good looking? Uhh as the son of the most beautiful Man in the universe, uhm hands down He'd be way better looking than George or Brad. Would he smell divine? Well I dont know but Im not sure if Jesus would be the type to wear cologne, but if he did what would He wear? I know what he wouldnt wear and thats anything by Britney! HA!

Would He movie star? I think so - but one of those that donates to charities and spends time in 3rd world countries during vacations - kind of like a male counterpart Angelina Jolie. I can see Him adopting kids from the worst situations in the poorest countries. I can see Him working in soup kitchens to bring awareness to the homeless problem in developed countries. I can see Him working as an ambassador to end the violence in the Middle East.

He was a celebrity in His heyday - what makes anyone think He wouldn't be celebrity now? At least He would be one of those sane celebrities, the ones you never read about in the grocery store tabloids.

What would it feel like to stand next to Him? Darren compared it to standing next to Elvis Presley - but Elvis is dead and not returning. I think standing next to Jesus would be like standing next to Hillary Clinton but multiply that feeling by one million. Everyone knows Hillary, not everyone likes her, but most people wouldn't mind meeting her just for the simple fact she's something of celebrity.

Yeah I bet He was cool. Can't wait to see Him in this life.

Drama and more drama

2008-04-06T13:24:00.006-05:00

IF you are a member of AllDeaf.com forums you probably know what this post is about. Now I admit I am not one that likes to post about 'he said she said junior high' type drama, but because this seems to be the highlight of everyone's day why not?

A year ago myself and others had sent donation money to AllDeaf to help make improvements and to keep it running. However one member has gone to say that the donated money was used to purchase a Les Paul guitar. The fact that we sent him money and he comes up with Les Paul guitar isnt necessarily evidence of fraud, however if the money he sent was never used towards the forum and instead used for personal recreation then that would be where the problem lies. That just means the person I sent my money to for a donatio towards the forum was not a good steward of the trust placed in them. There is no way of proving or disproving this theory. If its a false claim thats what it is, a false claim and nothing more.

In the last 12 months there has been alot of drama going on behind the scenes that I and other members were not aware of. I knew that the AllDeaf Caucus and the AllDeaf cruise had been cancelled 'due to not enough money raised'. I never really had any serious intentions of attending either one due to my personal financial limitations - I simply could not afford it. That was fine with me. I wished everyone who were able to go a good time.

Appearently someone was stuck with a large bill. When I heard about this I felt bad, but I did nothing nor did I say anything because I did not want to become involved in the mess.

Well recently Alex posted a thread that there would be additions made to the moderating team, three new mods were introduced after much waiting then just like that 3 other mods were abruptly demoted and banned. No warning, no idea that anything was going on, just poof and they were no more.

I received an email tha AD (AllDeaf.com) had come 'under attack' and that it was dubbed 'Black Wednesday' You may find more on this here: DreamDeaf's Blog.

After reading the vlog's, blogs, posts, and chats with other members I have concluded that this was all over a $100.00 debt. $100.00?!?! Come on! There are worse things to have a fit about. Sure $100 is $100. In buisness you just have to take a loss and move on. Nothing more.

It sounds to me like all of this could have been avoided had someone take better records of finances. All of this could have been avoided had someone just let it go and not hold on to a grudge for so long that it has allowed them to become bitter. All of this could have been avoided had someone just realized that you are going to have to take some losses in life and just move on.

In the meantime I am not going to take sides as I feel that I have not yet gotten the complete story from all sides. When I do I will then decide my future on AllDeaf.com.

Anything and Nothing

2008-04-02T19:53:00.003-05:00

I've been in sort of a funk lately in regards to my spirits. It's like Ive been muted emotionally. There are several things to chalk it up to, but mainly it is because of a person that is so irritating that it actually stresses you out just thinking about them. I have one of these people at work. Every morning I walk into work to start the day and automatically they are within three inches of my face. On Monday of this week, I was assigned a different workstation for the day due to absentee workers and I felt relieved to actually have been moved from one side of the building to the other to get away from this certain person.

No, this wasn't enough to keep them at bay. They came to me on their break and searched me out to converse with me. For a normal person just wanting a quick chat about something actually important it wouldn't be so bad. BUT this person was standing so close to me, I was moving over a few inches to gain a little bit of space. But everytime I moved to the left a few inches, the person in question also moves over to the left a few inches. Eventually I was wedged between the machine and a lug of product (wet raw product mind you). My right foot was on the edge of the footstand, and my left foot was on the foot of the machine. I finally got to the point I could not move over anymore so I started leaning over a bit. Finally this person said they gotta go but not without a slap to the back. If this was a significant other, I really would have not minded the bonus opportunity to cuddle a bit but when it's someone you try to avoid - it's very abrasive I guess you could say.

If this person was given the chance they would spend all day every day with me and fry my brain quite thoroughly. It is bad enough I have to spend 8 hours a day with them - but 24, 48, forever? No thanks, I'll pass on that.

Short of elbowing them sharply in the diaphragm, does anyone out there have a suggestion in dealing with this type of person?

I try to be nice, and nicely drop hints but this person is simply not getting it. I wish I had my spine when I need it most when I could just tell this person off and be done with it. But oh no this person is the type that needs to be handled delicately. Yup that kind.

So with the thought of that I have started thinking about 'getting away'. If it weren't for the financial reasons - I would be far from here living my life in London. Yes London. Im a Brit at heart despite my Southern American upbringing.

My style of clothes clearly depict that inward Brit. I consider myself Southern with a touch of English delicacy thrown in. In recent months I have come to realize that clothes do matter, and I like clothes that are made beautifully. Like, used to I would be content in jeans and a t-shirt and maybe flip-flops. As late as 3 years ago, my style was maniac like you really couldn't figure out what I was trying to do. But to be honest most days I would roll out of bed and throw on the nearest thing that smelt clean and went out.

Now - I stil do the same for my work clothes, but for my going out clothes it's different. For instance right now I am wearing a light blue tuxedo shirt underneath a black Beatles t-shirt, with the blue shirt tucked in. Along with that are a pair of dark colored khaki pants (Levi's) and a pair of leather oxfords in brown. I have it nicely accented with a watch that has a wide leather strap but the face sits over the strap rather than between two seperate straps (which I refer to as 'traditional timewear') - the stlye is contemporary I guess you could say. I top it off with a plaid ballcap from American Eagle or style up my hair in a messy but clearly meant to be that way sort of look.

My wardrobe is stil undergoing a renovation though - but Im finding that more times than not my choosings from the store have an English look to them whether it is leather oxfords, a sweater, or a Beatles t-shirt - but the way it is put together however is American.

While we are on the thought of England - I have a travel map I inserted (hoping this will work) to show you where I have been in the Lower 48 states and where I want to visit in those states and abroad.

Crested Butte, CO, USA

Denver, CO, USA

Gunnison, CO, USA

Winter Park, CO, USA

Oklahoma City, OK, USA

Fayetteville, AR, USA

Little Rock, AR, USA

Create your own travel map or travel blog

Visit TripAdvisor.com

This is the saddest thing:

2008-03-21T21:19:00.002-05:00

No words could ever express what the father of this beautiful little girl must feel. This is likened to having his heart ripped out and thrown in the dirt.

Sadly, I do know children who are being abused right now, verbally, emotionally, mentally, sometimes physically. The saddest part - I see these children on a regular basis and nothing I can do as our Child Protective services don't take family reports of abuse as seriously because it might just be a 'family dispute'.

I pray that an intervention comes through to save these children who suffer abuse and torture at the hands of the very people that are to care for them and to give them life.

Why can't our Child Protective agencies do their jobs? Is there too much bureaucracy? Is there too much politics? Or is it maybe because the ones making the protocols are the ones that never deal with these cases everyday. Sad, so sad.

Strange & Stupid News. Tsk-tsk....

2008-03-17T19:43:00.002-05:00

This is the closest humans have come to building a Death Star on earth:
Ryoungang Hotel - the world's ugliest building......
Worst Hotel Ever Be sure to watch the You Tube videos in the link. Whoever the videographer was in the first video is damn lucky.

Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for more than 2 years.
Something ain't right here folks. The man and woman BOTH have got some issues they need to work out. Thank goodness they didnt breed.
MSNBC Health - Woman sits on toilet for two years

The Houston Chronicle - Man whose girlfriend sat on his toilet for two years being charged.

I personally find this humorous yet repulsive at the same time. Anyone of a sound mind would think to call EMS after she had locked herself in the bathroom for 2-3 days. There are two things possible here: 1. he was grossly negligent in hoping the problem would resolve itself by ignoring the signs of squalid living conditions. OR 2. he simply wasnt of sound mind either to make a rational decision but instead did what he thought was best, by enabling her to stay in the bathroom for so long that she now suffers permanent physical and emotional damage. But before charging the boyfriend with anything he needs to undergo a mental evaluation to determine if he understood what he was doing or if he did not understand. If this goes to court that's going to be the evidence they are looking - was he of sound mind to make a rational decision? Without an evaluation by an outside 3rd party neither side can prove their case on whether or not the man should be charged.

Sad world we live in eh?

US Troops Losing Hearing in Warzones.

2008-03-15T10:03:00.002-05:00

AP IMPACT: US Troops Losing Hearing in Warzones

Yep - US Troops are becoming hoh or deaf due to being in a warzone. This isn't surprising in itself, but what is alarming is that its happening at the same rate of soldiers losing their hearing in WWII. Our soldiers today are issued hearing protection unlike those of WWII where there was very little regard for hearing protection in those days. But unlike the war of WWII where there were 'dogfights' in the air and epic tank battles, today our war is fought in ambushes, road side bombs, our soldiers can't just yell out 'TIME OUT! LEMME PUT MY EAR PLUGS IN! OK!", they are in a fight for their lives where they can't stop to put their ear plugs in.

They also can't wear them all the time because it may cause them to miss sounds that could be a sign of an immenent surprise attack from insurgents.

The Navy had issued specialized ear plugs that were two sided but did not issue them with instructions on their proper use, so soldiers were putting them in backwards and some cut them in half making them useless. Now they are being issued with instructions for proper use, but still for the soldiers who have lost their hearing this is a harder adjustment than a loss of a limb. Deafness is a hidden disability, you can't see that someones deaf, you can't hear that someone is deaf. The only person that can know of this disability first hand is the soldier himself who has lost his ability to hear.

Fortunately though the Pentagon has taken notice of this and has begun deploying hearing specialists to field hospitals so that soldiers can have proper care of their ears. They are given a hearing test when they return from battle and before being deployed.

But still the numbers are high and hearing loss and deafness will likely continue to be a leading disability among veterans.

I myself have always had a hearing loss - Ive always had to learn to adjust on my own but I also havent been in a life or death warzone situation either. I cannot say how hard it must be for these men and women to one day have their hearing intact and then the next they have severe ringing in their ears, or even in some cases total deafness from a blast.

I dont think of being hoh or deaf as necessarily a bad thing because it's not in my opinion and experience with it. But to have to totally re-adjust your means of communication in a matter of days can be hard. Often people cant 'see' your deafness and think your just simply not listening when in fact you cant hear at all. It's frustrating and when communication becomes ineffective within a family, a family can fall apart so for some of these soldiers they are losing more than just their hearing.

Cochlear implants won't allow these men and women to return to active duty within a warzone. SImply because a CI isnt effective enough, when a soldier can't properly hear instructions he can jeopardize his life, his buddie's lives, and ultimitely the mission they were sent out to accomplish.

Yes a soldier can return to 'active duty' with the use of a HAs or a CI, but likely they will not be deployed to a warzone, and likely they become a paper pusher for the remainder of their enlistment and will not be allowed to re-enlist as the military does not accept deaf and hoh candidates, as well as flat footed, blind, and diabetic candidates.

But what is sad is how quickly the VA forgets these veterans, and the care they receive in 'state of the art' Veteran's Hospitals is no where near the care that a civilian would receive in a civilian hospital. These are the people that have fought and risked everything for our country and this is the thanks the VA can give in return.

There have been 'experiments' with a so-called 'hearing pill' that can reduce the risk of hearing loss but a pill is not and will not be sufficiently effective in protecting these soldiers.

What I would like to see is some military money going towards the soldiers and their families to help them out - not some monkey research for a dubious hearing pill. Ah, the oxymoron of military intelligence once again runs freely.

No rest for the wicked....

2008-03-13T21:50:00.002-05:00

Here lately I have felt like there has been very little down time between work, mom duties, church activities, family drama, and being there for a friend.

Earlier this evening out of a moment of randomness I decided to check out the my church's web site. I clicked on 'Pastors Page' to see what Bro. Jamie had to say and he hit me right in the nose with his entry.

No, nothing as to what the title to this entry implies, but rather a rest meant for those who are caught up in today's 'work til you crash' society. You see God placed an importance on rest so much that it is one of the first noted things in Genesis. When God had completed his work he spent a day resting.

I myself could be considered a workaholic, but believe me there are people out there who do work harder than I do. OK maybe not necessarily harder, but do work many more hours per week than I do (paid work that is on top of work to be done at home.)

I have been known to quite literally work until I crash. You see I am boderline diabetic (low blood sugar) as I have severe blood sugar swings from time to time. One day not too long ago I had been working in an exhausted state for about a week or two. Not getting sleep, not eating right, and overdoing the nasty habits. In general not giving myself priority over other things. Things that, in hindsight, probably could have been prioritized lower on the totem pole. I went into work completely wiped out, blood sugar out of whack and all. I got up to the line and I was placed across from a friend of mine. I worked for about an hour until I was very much on the verge of crashing right there in the production area.

I became very weak and pale, barely able to speak, much less coherent. I started swaying from one side to the other until finally I laid down over the machine, begged God for some relief. But I still kept doing my job through all of this albeit not as effeciently as I should. My friend started shouting for a line boss anybody to come catch me before I fall. A line boss came over and immediately took notice to my condition, grabbed me in a bear hug. Mind you I am stil trying to do my job, I didnt want to stop or be perceived as 'lazy'. She kept telling me to let it go, I kept telling her no. Then she shouted for another worker who was free to take me to the sick bay. I dont recall much from there to the sick bay when I looked up and noticed the nurse standing over me telling me to stay with her. She left then returned with a bottle of orange juice and told me I would have to drink all of it before I could get up. I sat there, defeated, in the sick bay. I felt hopeless.

My line lead came up to me and asked how many occurances I had. Zero. It had stood at zero for quite some time and I had planned on keeping it that way unless my daughter became sick, necessitating me to stay home with her. She had fully expected me to clock out and take the day off.

Regardless, I drank my orange juice, got my sugar back up. Then nurse came back in to check on me and said I looked less pale.

I got up, put my PPE back on and hobbled my way back to my work station. I still felt like crap - but I wasnt about to go out without a fight. The only way I was clocking out that day was on a stretcher. I worked the whole shift in a barely able to stand state. My co-workers kept asking if I were OK. At one point they were worried to the point they asked for a line boss to let me have a break. (I said no.)

I got home that evening looked in the mirror - I was a ghost. There was nothing there in my face. I took a shower, put my pajamas on and laid down only to wake up 2 hours later with a fever. I took a fever reducer and went back to sleep. The next morning I woke up with chills. And yes I went in to work in this state. I get there and the first thing they said was - youre going home, you look like s---.

Thanks for the compliment boss. They worked me off without an occurance against me. I return home at 6:30am and laid down on the couch and did not wake up until noon. I got up made some soup then I started feeling better.

After all of that, I have come to realize that in this workaholic world you have to draw the line somewhere and say enough is enough. No mas.

Even after all of that, the day I returned to work, I went back to my 10 hour shift. I needed (and still need) the extra money. I am willing to work til I crash for it.

Sadly, while I wish everyone, including myself, had the opportunity to rest and not feel the pinch of having done so, I can't.

My profession obviously does not pay that well, especially for a single parent. I can't rest because:
1.) I need out of the house
2.) I need the money
3.) I need the money to buy a vehicle
4.) I need the money to eventually return to my ungraduate studies at ATU.

If and when I return to school - I do intend to work a full time job on top of the added load of school work on top of everything else I do.

But in Jamies message posted on the Internet, I have realized that rest is a vital importance of obeying God. He commanded us to work, but also rest for our well being. Statistics continually show that exhaustion leads to poor work quality, weight gain and related health problems, as well as depression when it is extended out.

As I type this I am considering taking a position at a different company where they work 13 days on, and getting one off. Why? Because it would give me a means to try and accomplish my goals.

But right now my exhaustion is forcing me to end this post despite my mind wanting to drag it out further. I will continue this tomorrow.

1989

2008-03-11T20:48:00.002-05:00

Ive had a flashback to 1989 today whilst picking up my DD from school today. I noticed a friend of mine from my school years was there picking up her two kids. I rarely see her as our schedules and pick up times are usually quite different but today we run into each other as we occassionally do. I noticed another girl in her car that looked vaguely familiar so I asked - "Who's your friend?" My classmate replied - "Oh that's Misty."

OH. MY. GAWD.

This Misty is my best friend from Kindergarten, my first friend that I made while riding the school bus. I offered her a seat and we clicked from then on. Unfortunately in 1995 tragedy struck as her great-grandmother who had been raising her and her younger brother from birth passed away. She then moved to her mother's house and in 1996 she transferred to another school. I have not seen her since 1996 - 12 YEARS!

I had seen her a previous week or two earlier at Taco Bell and thought to myself - 'That girl looks familiar but cant quite put my finger on it.' Then today BOOM. I was shocked as I had occassionally thought of her and wondered how her life turned out and after so many years just figured she probably wouldnt return to the area. I thought wrong evidently.

Right now I am trying to get us three girls together for a night to catch up over dinner. It has been ages since we three were able to sit down and talk. Wow. Time flies.

Snow and pinkeye

2008-03-06T11:49:00.003-06:00

Yes you probably heard on your news that Arkansas was blanketed in snow on Tuesday March 4th. Well I have pics to show you - and this aint no light dusting either!
NOTE - to view the entire photo, simply click on it and will open up in a new window or tab.

Yes we got that much snow! We had 9 inches in total officially and not farther north of here they got anywhere from 10-13 inches of the white stuff! Needless to say- schools were closed and work was cancelled. But it was fun to have a day off to play in the snow anyway.

Im looking out our back door now and there is still remnants of snow on the ground, and its rainng. And they are calling for more tonight and tomorrow! EEK! I have already missed two days of work already. First the snow day, and today because my DD has come down with pinkeye and is not allowed to return to school for 24 hrs after she has been on antibiotic eye drops, but I will blog about that later.

I sort of wish we get more snow - but thing is I have already missed two days worth of pay and if we miss another day then my check will not be worth the paper it is printed on. Oh well everyone has good weeks and bad weeks. Maybe next week we will make up for it- meaning we will be gauranteed working Saturday to get caught up on orders. I wouldnt be surprised if we had to work multiple Saturdays to get caught up. Oh well the way I see it is less time to spend the money Im working hard to make.

I hope everyone has had a good week!

Deaf Events for Arkansas

2008-03-03T17:54:00.003-06:00

Starting today during the first week of every month I will be listing deaf events and happenings in Arkansas and border states.

I mayself cannot attend all of these, so dont feel obligated to go, but I do encourage you to attend these events if you're fluent in ASL and just wanna hang out and make some new friends. To get you guys started there is a Deaf Coffee Chat in Ft. Smith, AR at the Sweet Bay Coffee Co. Coffeehouse on Rogers Avenue. It takes place on the 1st and 3rd Fridays of each month from 6-11:00 pm. For more information vist: http://deafchatcoffee.com/html/arkansas/fortsmith.html

If you are not in Arkansas but are interested in joining a Deaf Coffee Chat in your area, click on the link below:
http://deafchatcoffee.com/

Also later this week I will be posting my first vlog given time permits it. It should be up by Saturday at the latest.

Added: The Breckenridge Theatre in Little Rock is now showing Open Captioned movies. Click the following link and scroll down to Arkansas to see what movies and their showtimes.
http://www.insightcinema.org/films_statesA-D.html

New web cam!

2008-03-02T00:01:00.003-06:00

Hey guys I have just bought a new web cam, after having much trouble with the last web cam. The problem was I tried installing it but the drivers would not take on my Vista OS. So I boxed it up and *attempted* to return it.

This is how it went: I went in and took it to customer service, then the lady said we had to take it back to electronics where they had to approve it. Well we get back there and we had to wait 10 minutes to get seen, finally someone comes to the register. Then I told him why I was returning it, then he said take it back to customer service, I thought WTF? They sent us all the way back here for that?

So I went back to customer service then the lady says 'Well for you to return this and get a gift card in exchage for it we need some ID.' I lost it right there, I wasnt about to start playing their game. I just looked at the lady and said - Dammit Ive walked all over this store trying to return this to get my money back and now your'e sending me back out the store for my ID? FORGET IT, I dont think you need my money that badly anyway, here's the cam do what you want to with it, I dont care, its a piece of shit anyway.' Then I gathered my daughter up, got the few things we actually needed and left. Needless to say I will not be returning to that Wal-mart and please heed this note:
NEVER PURCHASE ANYTHING ELECTRONIC FROM WAL-MART. Because it may not work, and when you do try to return it for a refund they make you jump through flaming hoops to do so, making you feel criminal in the process. The camera was tagged as legit Wal-Mart merchandise at the front door when I had to check it in for a return, it showed the purchase price shelf code, everything. You should be able to return it if it checks out that it's a legitimate product that the company carries.

But now I have since purchased a new camera from Staples, an entirely different store, and its a Logitch - an entirely different brand as well. And this time I checked for the 'Vista certified' sticker on the box to ensure that it would work, I have carefully kept the reciept and the box and all pieces in case I need to return it for whatever reason.

So in the future maybe I wil have some vlogs to share with you. Right now its 12:48 am and Im ready to start watching the insides of my eyelids for a while. Have a good day and I hope I will have more to post about in the future.

Free At Last! DEBT Free At Last Thank God I am DEBT Free at last!

2008-02-24T18:47:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I sent off my final payment for my student loan - I feel so ridiculous with these things. I went to university for only one year and it has taken me nearly 5 years to pay off the bill.

While Im happy that Im debt free surely there has got to be a better way to complete a college education without having to go into serious debt to do so. This is almost as expensive as buying a house. While not everyone should complete a degree - it is however becoming increasingly more difficult for those who are ready for university to complete their degrees. Often they run out of money before completing their degrees and end up working factory jobs for several years paying off the bills before being able to return, some simply never return despite their longing and desire to return and finish what was started.

Its also becoming easier for those NOT ready for college level course-work to enter college, this doesnt add up, this doesnt make sense.

I wish the government could step in and put a cap on the price tag of a college education for certain universities where tuition has increased dramatically - this can be done for state colleges, but not so for private universities which receive their funding from private donations (often from ridiculously rich alumni and tuition paid by the families of trust fund students).

What also bugs me is the fact that many students entering college are shying away from the educational field primarily because when they sit down and do the math they realize they cannot effectively be independent upon graduation because the educational system does not pay teachers well enough despite the heavy burden placed on them and the overwhelming amout of paperwork and student track reports required for each individual student. Teaching is no longer the main job of being a teacher, its now more of a side requirement with paperwork taking up the majority of the time spent at work. Alot of would-be educators are now considering options such as law-school, management positions at certain buisnesses, or even blue collar factory work, simply because for the amount of hours worked, it pays better.

I myself, have given much consideration of entering the educational field to work with deaf/hoh students, but I may also want to teach at post-secondary level institutions. At that level I can teach and share information with students who are willing to learn. I have also considered mass communication and media relations as an option given my love for the written word.

No matter which route I am led to take - I do hope to complete a bachelor's degree as well as obtaining a master's degree.

But before all of that can take place - there is one thing left to do - I have to buy me a new truck! ;)

Photography

2008-02-22T21:59:00.002-06:00

As some of you know I am interested in photography and wouldnt mind doing it for a living if I could. I have posted alot of these photos on chats and some included in emails, but this is a collection of my personal favorites. Some are taken with a point and shoot camera, and the others were taken with a Sony DSC H7 camera which is a step down from a full on dSLR but is a step beyond your typical point and shoot. The Sony allows more control, but also has a fully automatic setting as well as a fully manual setting too. Please enjoy the photos.

* = taken with a point and shoot (Pentax Optio)
** = taken with Sony DSC-H7 (Cyber-shot)

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Darren Hayes: Casey Video (Full Length)

2008-02-15T19:45:00.002-06:00

I know I am late posting this but I have been incredibly busy as of late, but for those of you interested in it - here is the latest video from Darren Hayes titled Casey and it is the 4th single released from his album 'This Delicate Thing We've Made'. This single is being labelled as Darren's new sound and here it is:

Lyrics:
Casey

By Darren Hayes and Peter Vitesse

Driving in your car with the windows down and a beat up stereo.
Struggle with this town because you love to hate it but hate to let it go.
And we’re all alone and so tired of being underrated.
So don’t take me home because I feel alive when you come and save me.
A yellow car speeding down the south side freeway
We’ll rewrite this movie, make it end like we want it to.

And Casey when you go.
Can you come and find me? Want to be beside you when you leave this town.
I’ll be waving goodbye pretending not to cry. I want to be someone.
If you take me away all the pain will change into a memory of when we were amazing.

1989
Summer had hit but it was not moving.
What is it with this town?
Every time we win it just feels like losing.
And we were never going to fit in.
I was a mixed up kid and you were my sanity in a yellow car.
We don’t even have to go far.
Because that song you’re playing sounds like peace on the radio.

And Casey when you go.
Can you come and find me? Want to be beside you when you leave this town.
I’ll be waving goodbye pretending not to cry. I want to be someone.
If you take me away all the pain will change into a memory of when we were amazing.
I know things will change but Casey stay the same.
Take me away.
We don’t have to go far.

Casey when you go.
Can you come and find me? Want to be beside you when you leave this town.
I’ll be waving goodbye pretending not to cry. I want to be someone.
If you take me away all the pain will change into a memory of when we were,
Of when we were.
Casey when you go.
Can you come and find me? Want to be beside you when you leave this town.
I’ll be waving goodbye pretending not to cry. I want to be someone.
If you take me away all the pain will change into a memory of when we were amazing.

Driving in your car with the windows down and a beat up stereo.
I wanna, I’m gonna, I want to be someone.
I wanna, I’m gonna, I want to be someone.
I will run to you.
I will come to you.
I will run to you.
I will come to you.
She’s coming to get me.
She’s coming to rescue me.
Coming through the sky like a satellite, like a radio wave, a meteorite.

I hope you enjoyed the video!

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T16:28:00.002-06:00

Wow, another Valentine's Day has come and gone and while you're wondering if I received any flowers the answer is no I did not. But dont worry, I dont feel like Im missing out on anything. I had flowers sent to my daughter today at her school and the smile on her face when she sees those is enough of a Valentine's gift for me.

Now for my honest opinion - Valentine's Day is overrated. Its not that I hate it or that I dont believe in true love, its just the fact that you have all these people who have their love and they are sent flowers, chocolates and what have you not, then you have those who dont get anything and they would just like to know that someone cares. So what did I do for Valentine's Day besides giving some flowers to my daughter?

I gave my time to some Tornado victims here in the state who have nothing. How? I went to Wal-Mart and loaded my shopping cart with all sorts of clothes, toys, baby essentials such as diapers, bottles, formulas, clothes, etc. My friend Erica who was with me nearly flipped when she saw the total. I told her the total price isnt what matters, its the fact that your'e giving something to someone who needs it is more important. Yeah I had orginally planned on keeping that hard earned money for myself to use for a down payment on a new truck but I decided, nah, someone needs it worse than I do. So I took my loaded down cart to the front of the store where a National Gaurdsman was waiting beside an 18-wheeler trailer to load the items. I told him load everything up. And I took my empty shopping cart back to the cart corral.

But you know what, although my pockets and my truck were empty, my heart felt full of joy knowing that the items were going to be used by someone who needed them. This is what Valentine's Day should be about. Giving something of yourself to a worthwhile cause, not the biggest balloons or the fanciest bouquet of flowers. You dont have to necessarily donate to a recent cause. You can do something by going and visiting a shut-in in your community or offering some of your time for a neighbor who needs help completing a project. Just anything - it lets someone know that someone no matter how small that somone - that somebody else cares. You dont have to be famous or have deep pockets to do this. This is something anyone can do.

Dont have neighbors or a lover? Then donate your time to animals by helping at an animal shelter or purchasing needed items for them to use such as food, blankets, crates etc. Im a big animal lover especially for Labrador Retrievers. If you have a really heart for a specific breed or animal then donate some of your time or change to a rescue that specializes in that, your helping an animal in need.

So to all of my friends out there - I hope your having a wonderful Valentine's Day and if you're feeling left out remember that at least I care so you can't say that no one cares!

Update: Bob's House ASL Superbowl Ad

2008-02-03T15:31:00.000-06:00

The ad is ready for viewing on YouTube.com, but I have it here so you can view it directly:

Also the NAD (National Association of the Deaf) has released this statement showing its support for the Ad as well as PepsiCo and EnAble:
NAD Salutes PepsiCo for its Super Bowl Ad in ASL
Posted February 1, 2008

To refer others to this page, please use:
http://www.nad.org/NADSalutesPepsiCoSuperBowlAd

Much excitement among deaf people worldwide has been generated by the forthcoming PepsiCo commercial, “Bob’s House,” to be aired during the pre-game portion of Super Bowl Sunday. The 60-second ad, based on a long-standing joke in the American deaf community, is presented in American Sign Language (ASL) without sound – to catch the attention of millions of viewers in an otherwise boisterous pre-game environment. The ad also displays captions so the dialogue can be understood by viewers who do not sign.

The National Association of the Deaf (NAD) applauds PepsiCo’s employee network, EnAble, for its efforts in “creating an inclusive environment for people of different abilities.” This ad, created by and featuring PepsiCo employees, showcases people who know and use American Sign Language. The NAD salutes PepsiCo for giving this “performance with a purpose” the biggest stage possible – Super Bowl Sunday.

Numerous news outlets have carried stories about the forthcoming PepsiCo ad, in addition to preliminary ad and behind-the-scenes footage featured on the company website, also picked up on by individual blogsites within the deaf community. With response to the ad being overwhelmingly positive, the NAD anticipates an outpouring of affirmative feedback once the ad is broadcast.

“Commercials that are broadcast on Super Bowl Sunday are among the most widely viewed spots of the year,” notes NAD President Bobbie Beth Scoggins. “We are enthusiastic about this ad, and know that it will raise the bar with regard to enhanced public awareness about the American deaf community, its rich culture, and American Sign Language.”

She adds, “I encourage everyone who sees the ad to contact PepsiCo at this link and thank them for this clever and entertaining commercial. This is one way to show our appreciation for the tremendous step taken by PepsiCo and EnAble to increase awareness about inclusion and diversity by showcasing its ad entirely in American Sign Language.” Messages of appreciation may be sent to PepsiCo by e-mail at the link above or by mail to 700 Anderson Hill Road Purchase, NY 10577.

Have a good Super Sunday!

Snow falls and more tidbits from this week...

2008-02-02T07:43:00.000-06:00

Due to an unusually busy schedule this week I am going to do an entry covering this past week's events, so please bear with me.

SNOW FALLS:
Yeah, snow fell but not near the amount that the Pacific Northwest received, just enough here to cause old ladies to make a mad dash to the grocery store for milk and bread. Nothing major. As of this posting 90% of it has already melted. The places where it hasnt melted stay shaded throughout the day. And if that wasnt enough for you --- on Tuesday we had a major windstorm here with gusts up to 50 mph, or higher. There were mass power outtages and trees uprooted and blown across major highways. And sadly there were two fatalities in Arkansas from this windstorm. Tuesday morning it was 61 degrees, by that afternoon it was in the 40s. The next day it just got cold and rainy, and Thursday night it snowed for about 2 hours then quit. Then yesterday the sun was shining and it was a comfortable 51 degrees. Today it might possibly reach as much as 60 degrees, then on Monday it will be near 70! What? This is weird wacked out weather we are having!

OPEN CAPTIONS IN VLOGS:
As you know Im an avid reader and viewer of Seek Geo's blogs and vlogs. Me being raised in an all oral environment growing up I was never exposed to ASL and thus I am not fluent in it, but I am currently learning through ASL Pro.com, Lifeprint.com, and watching captioned and non-captioned vlogs on you tube and on Deaf Read.com.
But I have learned ALOT of signs from watching Geo, plus he's true to himself which is more entertaining than anything I could ever watch on TV. I have gotten to know him and he's a very fine true gentleman, and I am very fortunate to consider him one of my friends.

But when I heard about the comments on DeafRead.com about Geo having captions on his vlog, I was appalled. This very much reminded me of the ol' Crab Theory in Deaf Culture. Some Deaf want the Hearies to treat them with respect (I was raised that respect is EARNED not handed out) And want the Hearies to know more or better about the Deaf Culture. When someone like Geo - does this by providing captions to his vlogs so that ALL may enjoy and begins to build a bridge rather than a wall, he gets slammed for it. I dont understand it. Why? Because one person tries to make a positive influence in the world, some other deafies say "no no no!, that is not the deaf way! dont provide captions!" Im just absolutely speechless because 9 out of 10 times these are the same people who start having hissy fits when they are not provided open captions for theatre movies, TV shows, and whatnot. I am like - What is the difference?! Is there something Im not quite understanding? Is there something I am missing?

To sum this tidbit up - Geo - keep on keepin' on man! I love your vlogs and you've got my support no matter what is said.

COUPLE RETURNS DEAF CHILD TO ADOPTION AGENCY:
Disclaimer: There is no verifiable source of this as of yet, but this is alarming!

A couple who adopted a deaf child has cared for this child for one year. They had hoped the child could become a candidate for a CI (or Cochlear Implant) but was turned down for whatever reason, and hearing aids were ineffective. Upon learning that the adoptive mother had become pregnant, the couple decided to return the child to the adoption agency.

WTF????? Pardon my French, but this is beyond words and feeling. This is not a defective puppy you can just return to the pet shop for a refund (and thats a hot topic for me as well, but for another time), this is a PERSON a HUMAN BEING, one of Gods most amazing creations!

This shows to me that these people are very superficial and only desire for a perfect superficial child that has no defects. They raised and cared for this child for a year and decided that because she was deaf that they could no longer care for her but instead will conceive one on their own.

My main concern is for the little girl who was abandonded by her own family most likely because she is deaf, then taken in and then when the family found out she wouldnt be able to hear at all, they decided it could not be done at all. What about ASL? This girl may or may not have mental issues born out of this.

The realizes that she is not accepted because she's 'different', but this is something she cannot change, and it will become a vicious neverending cycle of self doubt and hatred. If I could I would take in the girl myself and love her and teach her that there are people out there that will love and accept her for who she is, not what she does or does not have. As a deaf/hoh mother of a hearing child I am just bound with disbelief that something like this could happen. But I guess the good thing is the girl wont be stuck with parents who resent her under the surface.

What I dont understand is, shallow hearing parents can adopt so easily, but yet deaf parents are usually warned against having children, I dont understand how this world can be filled with people whose hearts have become so hardened that they can treat their own kind with such disregard and wastefulness.

Once I am able to get a verifiable source on this I will post. But until then here are the known links to this tragedy:
DeafMomof3's Blog
Mishka Zena's Blog
The Deaf Edge
Beke Outspoke
alldeaf.com thread

That pretty much sums it up for the week - oh wait! I almost forgot, this month will be my final payment on my student loans which means in the next couple of months I hope to purchase a new truck. This will be my first major purchase so please wish me luck in finding what I am looking for in good condition! I will post updates on this as I go along!

Bob's House

2008-01-26T15:13:00.000-06:00

It is been released in the last few days that PepsiCo will be sponsoring an ad during the Super Bowl pre-game show that will utilize ASL and features a joke that is popular in the Deaf Community. Here is the press release below followed by a link to the video found on PepsiCo's website.

PepsiCo Brings Silent Ad to Super Bowl

If a television commercial airs on Super Bowl Sunday and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

(Photo: Newscom Search )

On Sunday, February 3, television viewers will be checking their volume controls when PepsiCo airs a 60-second commercial filmed in American Sign Language (ASL), with open-captioned text for the benefit of all viewers. The spot was created by and features PepsiCo employees who are members of EnAble, an employee network whose mission is to promote a more inclusive environment for people with disabilities. Slated to air on the pre-game show on FOX, the commercial features Pepsi-Cola and Lay's Potato Chips, but its real mission is to bring awareness of the American deaf community to a wider audience. PepsiCo also will sponsor the closed captioning of FOX's entire Super Bowl broadcast.

"The outpouring of support for this ad, both internally and externally, has been overwhelming," said Clay Broussard, PepsiCo employee and project lead on Bob's House. "This is one way we can give back through what we call Performance with Purpose. It's part of a larger effort to make PepsiCo the defining corporation of the 21st century. By bringing the world an ad performed by deaf employees in ASL, we feel like we've already scored the upset on Super Bowl Sunday."

Broussard and a handful of PepsiCo employees, each with their own personal connection to the American deaf community, set off to create a commercial with a deaf focus and broad appeal. Despite having little or no experience in advertising, the group came up with the concept, wrote the script, and then acted it out, sharing a demo tape with their colleagues. The demo tape generated internal buzz and quickly gained support from PepsiCo senior management, which immediately saw the commercial's potential and decided it needed a big stage. Naturally, they chose the biggest stage possible - Super Bowl Sunday.

Broussard appears in the commercial along with PepsiCo colleagues Sheri Christianson, Darren Therriault and Brian Dowling. Titled "Bob's House," the theme is based on a popular joke in the deaf community. PepsiCo also consulted with the National Association of the Deaf (NAD) to ensure the message was on target.

"The NAD applauds PepsiCo for its strong commitment to diversity and creation of this exciting ad in ASL with its employees. This ground-breaking ad will heighten cultural awareness by millions of viewers during Super Bowl Sunday," said Bobbie Beth Scoggins, president of the NAD.

The commercial opens with two friends (Therriault and Dowling) driving together in a car at night, on the way to their friend Bob's house to watch a football game. They are stopped on a suburban street where all the houses are dark, with no porch lights or inside lights on. The driver (Dowling) is not sure which house is their friend's. Communicating in ASL, the two friends blame each other for not knowing Bob's house number. Suddenly, the driver has an idea. He begins honking the horn repeatedly as he slowly drives down the block. Instantly, lights flash on in all of the houses except one - Bob's - the only house unaffected by the noise.

"Bob's House" was produced by Harvest and directed by the company's co- founder, award-winning director Baker Smith. It came to life thanks to the cooperation of BBDO-NY, which supported the idea and agreed to create the commercial for no profit, and OMD, which secured a valuable pre-game time slot and accepted no commission for its efforts.

To view the video please click here

I am very happy to see a popular brand willing bring awareness of the deaf community to the mainstage, this could once again further help the hearing to understand that we are not dumb, just deaf and unable to hear. Way to go PepsiCo! (Although I admit I am a Coke-Cola drinker)

deafbaptist has a new look!

2008-01-25T20:02:00.000-06:00

Some of you may have noticed the new layout for deafbaptist. Its not a custom skin but it is a different template offered by blogger. If I actually knew CSS and HTML code I wouldnt mind creating a skin thats entirely my own creation, but thus I dont so here we are.

I hope you find this layout easier to navigate and more appealing to the eye. I hope to add more features in the future as things progress and time becomes available.

Wow - what a coincidence or wait - God's back from His vacation!

2008-01-24T18:06:00.000-06:00

Ok to give you a quick rundown, I joined a weight loss group at church (and yes it is church based) and there are mostly older women there - actually Im the youngest one in the group - with only one other woman in my age range there.

Well me and her are in the same Sunday school class but everytime I try to be nice to her it is like she brushes me off like I am not worth her time or in some cases - I shouldnt even be there. I can't understand why or even how - but that's the vibe Ive been getting from her like she wants nothing do with me.

So I dont worry about it anymore right? No problem. Time goes on and to be honest I had been getting this same reaction from her for such a long time that I start thinking - man she's a stuck up @#$%^! Still no problem, but then she begins to treat me as stupid in a sense - ha- no more, I start poking back at her. And up to this point its quite obvious to others that we clearly do not like each other for whatever reason (and Im not even sure what the reason is either!)

So I joined this group and oh my she's in it too! I thought OK thats fine, I can deal with this. Then she parades around that she's lost the most weight - and Im quietly flogging myself for failing and having gained weight rather than lost it. (feminine problems)

Then come time to pick a partner for the week at random - and UGH its HER! I thought oh boy this is one of those times where it seems like its pulled directly from one of those cheesy Chicken Soup for the Soul books. You get partnered with someone you really dont like but in the end you become really good friends, yeah one of those things. I thought OK fine - thats not a problem.

Well I didnt have her address or phone number so I wasnt able to get in contact with her and I actually felt kinda bad - I guess I could of asked for it from one her friends but I felt silly just thinking about it. So I did the next best thing - I prayed for her.

Then I saw her again this past week - it seems like she's started to warm up a bit (but not by much! lol)

And I checked the mail today - I got a card - yup you guessed it, it was from her.

Now I will say this - she cant be doing the bare minimum - because she could have just as easily sent a cheesy e-card. But she sent an actual card, I was like wow - something's going on here and Im really liking it! It also threw me off because I got an e-card from another person in the group and thought they drew my name from the pile. (not that it's any less appreciated - it made me grin!) And the fact that she's doing more for me than I did for her speaks volumes. Now that we have the names and addresses of the folks in the group listed on paper - I can return the favor and hope I get a chance to get it right when I get put with her again.

Are we friends? Nope. Are we accquaintenances? A little more. Are we human? We're getting there. I just hope that maybe we can get to the point that there isnt a block of ice between us at least.

But thats more than mysterious coincidence - I think God's back from His vacation, lol.

5K Bungled Up: Update

2008-01-21T19:53:00.000-06:00

As you may be aware, the 1 mile fun walk/run that me and my DD did this past week got bungled up due to a lack of information and solid coordination with race staff.

My friend who is the race director realized his mistake Saturday night when tallying up the results for the media release of race results and realized his mistake. The next day, Sunday, my DD was presented with her medal for completing the race. There were two other entrants, but they did not complete the entire course and were awarded with only ribbons (and they were older than my DD I might add), but my daughter was awarded with a medal.

Way to go girl, you deserved it! I will post a picture of her proudly displaying her medal at a later date. Im just glad things worked out and the situation was made right.

Coming Out:

2008-01-20T20:41:00.000-06:00

But not what you think!

It really is sad that parents would be in denial that their child may be deaf. When this occurs the child grows up not feeling valid for this reason because the parents dont feel the the child has a valid problem, and we all know that children seek out validity from their parents.

It is my hope that this video brings out a certain awareness that this can and sometimes does occur in real life situations. Hopefully with more deaf awareness going on, things like this would not be necessary.

Seek Dixie

2008-01-19T20:55:00.000-06:00

In honor of SeekGeo - I am doing a SeekDixie photo:
And yes this is a shameless plug for him - for more on Geo please visit www.seekgeo.com

Darren Hayes does a spoof of Britney Spears

2008-01-19T20:52:00.000-06:00

Too funny!

Glad to know my man knows who's in the loony bin and who's not. Thank god he puts out real music and not just trash like Britney does.

5K Bungled Up

2008-01-19T11:11:00.000-06:00

As some of you know I was going to do a 1 mile fun walk with my daughter as part of a 5K race here in town. Well all was fine until we crossed the finish line. My friend, John, who is the race director came up to me and asked, "Did you enter the 5K?"

"No, I entered my daughter into the 1 Mile Kids walk."

He then faces the timekeeper and says - scratch her off.

I was confused and like huh? I think it should have been quite obvious the way I was dressed that I clearly was not in the 5K portion of the race. But I was still confused as to why he would scratch my daughter's time off. I didnt think much of it until we had gone inside and my daughter was eating a snack provided by the race staff. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder and said "They are calling for the Kids walk now." I was like "What? We have already done it."

"But how?"

"We started with the other walkers."

"But the Kids race doesnt start until after the 5K race is over with."

"There was nothing specifying in the race entry form of when the kids race started, I assumed with the walkers. I guess they bungled it up didnt they?"

"I guess they did. You better get with John."

"I will, don't worry, I will."

To save myself from being embarrassed in front of several dozen people I gathered my daughter up and left. I thought that my daughter would recieve a trophy, but I am not going to make her do a race twice just to get an award for one race. I will get with John tomorrow during church and see if he will get it right and at least maybe if she doesnt get a trophy at least she gets something. (I was told all kids received an award for participating.)

I will also get with him about providing adequate race information. Most of the race officials did not even know which group was to turn where. Yes the main race is the 5K running division, but adeqaute information should be provided for ALL races and paces.

I believe since our race is getting more and more popular, the following should be included in a race packet:

race t-shirt
race number
entry form
race map
start times for individual races and paces.
directions to the race (this isnt a benefit for me since I am a local entrant, but for those who are from out of town)
and race rules (what will get you disqualified, etc.)
and local emergency numbers (if it is other than 911 or in some cases cell phones will not route to the local 911 but rather the cell phones local 911 - the city/county/state in which it was turned on in).

As of right now the entry form just states race directions and the start time of the 5K Running race. Also race staff should be better prepared to give information. All questions would not be answered until AFTER the race which defeats the whole purpose of asking about race directios, etc.

Dont get me wrong, John is a good guy, but isnt all there in certain areas. If I approach him nicely, I am sure he will make it right. But as for me instead of sitting on my tail and complaining about how this or that should have been done differently, I am going to offer to help with next year's race in getting is prepared and making sure the race staff is informed and better organized so that race participants, such as my daughter, are not left out of the loop with important information.

New Year's Resolution number one: Resolve to keep my one resolution!

2008-01-15T20:33:00.000-06:00

Ok so the new year has arrived and with it, hopes and dreams of doing things better in 2008.

Along with millions of others across the globe I have made the resolution to lose weight this year. And Ive been doing my homework. Studies show that people who are a part of a support group during a weight loss or diet are 20% more likely to lose the weight and 10% more likely to keep it off rather than gain it all back.

So with all of that said - - I have joined a weight loss group in hopes of finding the needed local support to lose weight. Only problem is I am off to a really bad start! I have been doing the bookwork and reading part just fine its the eating and excercise parts that are hard.

You see with my work schedule it is very hard to actually fit in the recommended meals they provide in the diet plan, and after work Im often so pooped from being on my feet all day that Im too exhausted to excercise.

But Im trying. Ive been using this first week to really take note of my eating habits and see where I can exchange for something better.

And as for excercise I plan on asking from the group if someone would be willing to be my walking buddy 2-3 days a week after work, and the other two days I can do my own routine such as dancing to eurodance music in the living room for an hour.

I really do want to lose weight I am now at the point that I simply do not look attractive in anything! To put it bluntly to have clothes that I feel comfortable in, I shop from the men's section since none of the ladies pants fit me properly (appearently short people cant be fat either!), and the tops do nothing except expose all of my unsightly rolls! There's nothing more embarrassing to see than a fat lady that looks like she's trying to be a hoochie momma! Im talking fat rolls hanging out along with the Hanes underwear where the low rise jeans dont rise high enough and you see nothing but crack and maybe a black hole when the woman sits down.

Now before all you jump on me, I know not every fat person is like this, but when I do see the occassional fat person dressing in this fashion, I cant help but feel disgusted because Im seeing things I dont wanna see and the person either A doesnt realize how ridiculous they look or B they dont care how ridiculous they look.

So for now my wardrobe is limited to jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, button shirts, and polos. The only real accessory I have are my hats in which I have one for nearly every occassion. (MPW hat, Avery hat, AE hat, EMS hat, Corona hat, and beanie)

I dont dress butch but rather I dress according to my own styles, like for instance black pants, burgundy shirt makes a good church outfit, and later the same burgundy button up can be paired with a matching sweater with steel grey accents and denim jeans for a more casual look.

I really do care about how I look. When Im going somewhere besides work I'll spen 20 minutes in the mirror perfecting my 'messy hair' until I get it just right.

But I just wish I were more in proportion to my height meaning Im at my ideal weight for my hieght so that I can expand on my wardrobe instead of wearing the same things over and over until I find something new that fits.

But for now my main resolution is resolving to keep my resolution about losing weight.

Wish me luck!

Splish Splash I was takin' a bath (humor)

2008-01-14T15:34:00.000-06:00

I dont think I need to add anything more to this post:

Good Enough?

2008-01-06T12:11:00.000-06:00

This has not been a good weekend at all for me. For starters I had to work a full shift on Saturday. Then I cleared my schedule Saturday night for a blind date that would never happen - yup I got stood up.

As you know Im very tomboyish, and I have even been asked if I were lesbian or bisexual. But the more I think about the comments of people surrounding me and my own personal thoughts, could it be that Im simply not good enough for any hopes of companionship?

Its nothing gained so nothing lost - all it is, its become another stone for the wall Im building around my heart to protect it from being broken again.

There is someone I love, I mean I truly love, but I could never have them, NEVER.

And the more I reach back into the junkyard of my mind - the more I realize the most Ive been able to attract are real genuine losers - so it that I too am a loser? Winners attract winners, losers attract losers, its a crab theory of sorts.

Of course I feel like I can accomplish things in the academic and financial sense, but I simply cant accomplish much in the relationship area.

Am I so tomboyish to the point that I am butch? Sure theres a tiny part of me Im trying to hide - but its hanging out for all the world to see appearently. Im an open book.

Ive prayed about this, Ive thought about this, Ive asked about this. Im not sure what else I can do besides be me. Wearing make up is foreign, I prefer to grab a t-shirt, pants, jacket, ball cap and head out the door. But of course there was a time in my life where I didnt have money and makeup was out of the question.

Im 24 years old and I feel like Im having the same inner conflict of a 14 year old with more hormones floating in their body than they should.

Given my track record Ive come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as true love, at least not from what I have seen. Youre not going to find it on this earth that is for sure.

Im being me and Im a turnoff for alot of people. I just want someone to love me for me and not as a walking sex toy.

National Bill of Rights for Deaf Children

2008-01-01T10:26:00.000-06:00

Now as you know I grew up mainstreamed, oralized, and what have you not while yet I am deaf/hard of hearing. While I did graduate high school, I have always felt that my overall educational expierience could have been much better as a deaf student in a mainstream classroom.

When I started school I was provided with a few 'accomodations' if that is what you want to call it, but it was quite ineffective actually. I was placed in the front row where I could 'speech read' (reading lips for the ones not well versed in deaf culture) but only problem is the teacher would walk around the room or would face the board at such an angle that speech reading is actually quite useless. And what really annoyed me was when the teacher would stand next to the window where all I could see was her silhouette, no facial features. So in most cases all I would get was the 'WAH WHAH WAH' speech often mimicked in the Charlie Brown cartoons.

I was consistently having trouble 'listening' in the classroom and regularly received low marks for this and thus would get in trouble for it at home. (I am the only deaf child in a hearing family)

In the 1991-1992 school year I was given an FM system in which I would wear a set of headphones and my teacher would wear a microphone so whenever she spoke would receive the instruction into my headphones. In this year I reall excelled. And I was finally on the honor roll for having good grades all year long and was called up to the stage to receive my academic achievement award just as my brother had always done. I felt extremely proud of myself for the first time.

Then the other students were 'jealous' of my extra attention and thus the FM system was no longer utilized to ensure that I got an equal opportunity to an education just as my peers had. In the 1992-1993 school year I was failing so badly that I was boderline having to repeat the grade. I was simply not able to hear and I was missing out on ALOT of information. I was continually in trouble for poor grades. Of course I was just a kid, I knew I was trying but I just didnt understand why I was failing as badly as I was. Looking back now as an adult - it is very clear really. I was simply shortchanged on my education based on the feelings of my peers. This is in violation of so many ADA and Civil Rights laws alone. Im curious as to why my parents didnt fight back to ensure I received a fair education. I think it had alot to do with the fact that my dad was an educator in the same school system and felt that he might lose his job if did fight the school board on this.

But it has been many years since the actual incident and many years since I completed high school. In my overall educational experience I honestly feel that my alma mater failed me in so many ways. Not only was my education put on the back burner, my safety was as well but that is for an entirely different post at another time. Lets just say I was often the victim of bullying as well. I was not treated well as a student of the public school system despite me being the child of an educator that taught in this same system.

This clearly shows that the public school system is not adequately informed nor adequately equipped to provide a fair education to deaf and hard of hearing students. They are more concerned with standards and test scores that they let students lose out on a quality education and also losing those in the cracks. It is bad enough to know that many deaf/hard of hearing students have not completed high school nor have a GED, but to outright ignore them for the other students is absolutely ludicrous. According to ADA laws - ALL STUDENTS REGARDLESS OF DISABILITY IS ENTITLED TO A FAIR ACCESS TO QUALITY EDUCATION UNDER THE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM. This isnt limited to just deaf/hard of hearing students, but those who are blind, physically disabled, and those who have learning disabilities such as dyslexia, and those who are mentally handicapped in some form such as Down's Syndrome.

The National Association for the Deaf has listed a Bill of Rights for Deaf Students/Children. Here is the original posting as found on the NAD site:
http://www.nad.org/site/pp.asp?c=foINKQMBF&b=3478295

While Im disappointed that my state does not currently have a bill of rights implemented for deaf student I am however glad that we do have an Educational Task Force for the Deaf in our state.

I myself cannot change my own educational experience within the public school system, but I can however help push to change the experience of those who may be set up in similar circumstances that I was. 1.) Parents who were ill informed of the needs of deaf/hard of hearing child and 2.) Parents who were likely not aware of their rights to fight for a fair education for their child within the public school system. 3.) Not exposing their deaf/hard of hearing child to a deaf culture or at least considering a role model who was deaf/hard of hearing who understood the positions and points of view of the student and is better equipped to advocate the educational needs of the deaf/hard of hearing student.

Although I do not have the necessary educational credentials to enter the educational field of work, I will however seek to obtain those credentials and use my personal experience to help advocate for a fair education under a Bill of Rights for Deaf Children.

PIZZED harldy describes it.....

2007-12-11T20:56:00.000-06:00

As you all know I am a BIG fan of Darren Hayes, yes even during his Savage Garden days. Well I posted a comment on a you tube page that said - all I would've wanted for my birthday back in November is for Darren to Come to Little Rock, AR so I could see him perform live and possibly get the chance to meet him face to face. Well I wanted to see if anything had cumulated on his 2008 national tour of the United States yet. (for the record - theres nothing set in stone other than they will begin in March or April). I scroll down through some copied blog entries from his myspace page and on one of them it reads exactly this:
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Still Beautiful
Category: Music
Woke up in Little Rock.
Sang for some folks in radio.
Flew to Memphis.
Watched a storm from the the departure gates.
Flew to St Louis.
Now I'm getting ready for bed.
Life is still beautiful.

the next one down offers even more sinful evidence:
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Little Rock little boy big world
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Music

I was in Phoenix Arizona this morning.
I was in Dallas Texas at 10 am.
I'm in Little Rock Arkansas tonight.
I'll be in St Louis tomorrow.
I'll be Chicago tomorrow night.
It's busy.
When I'm this busy I think a lot about the human condition.
..... [last part cut out as its not pertinent to the overall post]

I was so incredibly mad that my favorite of all favorites was a mere hour and a half from here and yet nothing I could do about it and looking back there's nothing I could've done about it other that maybe tuned into the radio at the time of his airing. It was on a Wednesday, I have to be at work at the wee hours of the morning at 5:30. (I often find myself crawling out of bed at 4:30 sometimes earlier, and crawling back into bed around 10:30- midnight. Once I have been known to have stayed up for nearly two days straight through. So it all depends.

Anyway he was in Little Rock, actually touched Little Rock, and to be quite honest and blunt - I dont even like Little Rock. The I-40 is a nightmare in its self with the construction.

I would go to Little Rock to see Darren perform at one of the clubs. I would be forever grateful and deeply appreciated if we were allowed to meet face to face. Im not a teeny bopper type thats in love with his first single 'Truly Madly Deeply' (while it is a touching song, its not my favorite) I prefer his experimental stuff, especially his latest album 'This Delicate Thing We've Made'. He's really grown alot, he's experimented, he's done an incredible amount of work to put out a solid album that doesnt sound like the American pop trash thats overplayed on American radio stations. This is good stuff, I agree with alot of his lyrics. On Neverland it hit home for me. I dont know if this was Darren's experience growing up, but even if it isnt, he's got an incredible view of it.

His 'Building A Time Machine' shares alot of my feelings for the things Ive done and what Ive regretted.

Someone anyone - if youve got connections, know how and what not - I would very much like to know if Darren will be returning to Little Rock for a performance, and two how I would be able to obtain tickets and possibly VIP passes as I would love to meet him in a relaxed comfortable setting and get to know him for him.

Peace Chow and Love,
-C

All Things Considered: Deaf Culture

2007-11-03T16:39:00.000-05:00

So this disscussion was brought up at AD.com and it is a very interesting one to say the least. Being born deaf and having felt suppressed by the hearing world as if I were incapable of controlling my own fate.

The questions brought up were:
When was Deaf Culture discovered?

When was is declared a 'Culture'?

By whom?

Why?

Was it conjured for political reasons?

And if so, what are the political objectives?

Well for one there are no easy answers for these questions. To just get started, we'd have to look at the term culture itself.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines culture as follows:
American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source - Share This cul·ture (kŭl'chər) Pronunciation Key
n.

The totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought.
These patterns, traits, and products considered as the expression of a particular period, class, community, or population: Edwardian culture; Japanese culture; the culture of poverty.
These patterns, traits, and products considered with respect to a particular category, such as a field, subject, or mode of expression: religious culture in the Middle Ages; musical culture; oral culture.
The predominating attitudes and behavior that characterize the functioning of a group or organization.

So looking at Deaf Culture to define it we have to look at the shared attitudes, traits, and expression by those that are deaf. We know what Japanese culture is, we all know what Hispanic culture is and we are easily able to distinguish between the two.

But deafness knows no certain boundary. Deafness happens in all cultures whether it be American, European, Asian, Latino or any other ethnicity. It goes beyond languages used and what skin color a person has as well as beyond sexual orientation, political affiliation and religion.

So lets look at Deafness:
American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source - Share This deaf (děf) Pronunciation Key
adj. deaf·er, deaf·est

Partially or completely lacking in the sense of hearing.
Deaf Of or relating to the Deaf or their culture.
Unwilling or refusing to listen; heedless: was deaf to our objections.

n. (used with a pl. verb)

Deaf people considered as a group. Used with the.
Deaf The community of deaf people who use American Sign Language as a primary means of communication. Used with the.

The only problem I see with this definition is that many people outside the deaf don't understand that there are varying degrees of deafness, and that not all deaf people use sign language and the fact there is more than one signed language.

But lets see how they define Deaf Culture:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deaf_culture <---Wiki entry

Deaf culture has always been around even before the 1988 DPN Protest at Gallaudet University, during this protest which was broadcast on national news - this was the first time that many Americans realized that deaf people were not stupid nor incapable of controlling their own lives. I remember a friend telling me that they had family members astonished that a deaf person could hotwire a bus and flatten its tires to block a roadway.

This is also the year my parents had me transferred from a special school to a mainstream school. I did not realize until a few days ago but I have yet asked my parents if the news of the Gallaudet protests influenced their decision to mainstream me into public schools. Until I know for sure I cannot say one way or another. I started Kindergarten in the 1989-1990 school year - have very vague memories of the special school but I do remember being taken to the Baptist church parking lot where mom had to meet a bus that would bus me to Ola everyday. The driver was Miss Melba a very sweet and kind lady whom I will never forget.

The DPN protests were extremely well organized and was paralleled to the Civil Rights Movement.

The protests were over the fact that the Nationan's Deaf University was not headed by a deaf person and 17 chairpersons were hearing with only 4 deaf members. This started when Jerry Lee resigned in 1987. The deaf students were ready to have a deaf president running their university. Students supporting the selection of a deaf president participated in a rally on May 1. Gally alumnus John Yeh advertised the rally with flyers that read:
It's time! In 1842, a Roman Catholic became president of the University of Notre Dame. In 1875, a woman became president of Wellesley College. In 1886, a Jew became president of Yeshiva University. In 1926, a Black person became president of Howard University. AND in 1988, the Gallaudet University presidency belongs to a DEAF person.

The selection commitee hired the only hearing applicant above the other deaf, but very qualified deaf applicants including I. King Jordan and Harvey Corson. The hearing person that was hired had no sign language knowledge and was ill-aware of deaf needs. This sparked the eight day Deaf President Now Protests that took place over eight days from May 6-13.

There were 4 demands the students wanted fullfilled:
1. That a deaf president be named immediately
2. The resignation of JaneBassett Spilman over a comment that "deaf are not yet ready to function in a hearing society."
3. The board of trustees that had 17 hearing members and only 4 deaf be reconstituted so that the majority were deaf members.
4. That there be no reprisals.

The eight day got so much national media attention that it is considered a critical change of direction for national deaf culture awareness as well as internationally where there is a deaf culture recognized not only in the states but also in Nordic countries such as Iceland, Norway, and Sweden as well as Canada that boasts a deaf culture centre.

For much of history the deaf were encouraged to blend in with the hearing world and to even hide their deafness. Alexander Grahamn Bell though a child of a deaf mother, was an audist and discouraged deaf people from being together fearing that sign language was not the best way to teach them the ways of the world.

Laurent Clerc pushed for sign language and that deaf individuals be grouped together to learn the deaf way - by sign language. And in 1817 founded the American School for the Deaf. In 1821 - it was relocated to its present location.

Whichever your viewpoint is on deaf education, I am firm that it should be based on the individual child and I dont even want to delve in Cochlear Implants.

The first implication of a Deaf Culture was on a tiny island in Massachussets known as Martha's Vinyard where there was a larger percentage of deaf people than elsewhere in the country. This was during the mid-to-late 1800s, after Thomas Hopkins Gallaudet persuaded Laurent Clerc to return with him to the United States to start a deaf school. Through this deaf school and strong influences from Old French Sign Language and highly localized sign languages of the students that were being used ASL or American Sign Language came about and in the 1900s it became a widely accepted language in all states throughout the country.

The other questions such as by whom, and why will have to be answered in another part to what has become a series. But as I research and continue to write this may very well be a thought invoking journey.

Part Duex will follow soon.

Funny things I 'hear'.

2007-10-13T21:18:00.000-05:00

So I was talking to some of my deaf friends online the other day and the topic of discussion turned to funny misunderstandings. Some of them were quite humorus, others just leave you with a good grin on your face.

So I will start with my own that I can remember over the years:
I was about nine or ten at the time; my mother and I were driving to my grandparents house for Sunday dinner when I noticed a new building in Belleville. So I asked my mother casually. "Mum, whats going in there?"

"Oh a Lesbian Appliance Store.."
"WHAT?!"
"Wha-at?"
"Did you just say Lesbian Appliance store?"
"WHAT?! I didnt say Lesbian Appliance, I said GIL-ES-PEE'S Appliance store!"

Another funny one of my own from a few years back:
I was about the same age, maybe younger when I was spending the night at my cousin's house when we were laying on the pallet of blankets in the floor in the dark when she whispered something in my ear and I said could you repeat that please I couldnt hear you over the fan. And she whispered again and I still couldnt hear her. Then I said - You dummy, no wonder I can't hear you! That's my broke ear!

I would share the funny ones from other people, but I want their permission first before posting as some may not want the stories repeated online too many times.

So if you're a reader and want to share your story and have it posted, feel free to email me at dr_vfib@hotmail.com or leave a comment in the comment box if you have a blogger account if not, just email me and I will get yours posted.

I will do a follow up on this post once I receive submissions. Send in your funny misunderstandings of what people have said to you, deaf, hh, or hearing.

Me, Myself, & I - Darren's new video and 2nd single from 'This Delicate Thing We've Made'

2007-10-12T18:45:00.000-05:00

Yep its another Darren post complete with his new video which shows his fun and playful side, and for the dhh readers - I have the lyrics included. This song has a definite flashback feel. Enjoy!

I'm kinda reeling
A deja-vu feeling
We've been together
In another life

Got me extending
That network's ending
The future echoes
With your memory

Now darling, I don't know what the future will bring
But I am willing to sing 'til I drop
Now baby, I don't know how it happened to be
But when we met it was like future shock

Tell me what to do, me myself and I
It's gonna take a time machine
To get it right
And it's so cruel, I wanna take you home
I'm gonna speed those hands of time right up
So that I don't leave here all alone. Woo hoo!

The death of the romance
Thought there was no chance
Then you appeared right in front of me
I got to thinking
Loneliness sinking
I felt the cloudiness come over me

Now darling, I don't know what the future will hold
But I'm not willing to do as I'm told
Now baby, I don't care how it happened to be
But I know that my future's right in front of me

Tell me what to do, me myself and I
It's gonna take a time machine
To get it right
And it's so cruel, I wanna take you home
I'm gonna speed those sands of time right up
So that I don't leave here all alone. Woo hoo!

Did you ever get the feeling that the universe is leaning?
It's accelerating, it will never stop
Did you ever wonder if the number one divide by zero
Is infinity and if that's the case then what?
If imaginary numbers are abstractions of the real thing
Then could someone make the clock of time stop?
If we were always meant to be together like forever
Than it must have been a future shock

I don't know what the future will bring
But I am willing to sing 'til I drop...

What to do, me myself and I
It's gonna take a time machine
To get it right
And it's so cruel, I wanna take you home
I'm gonna speed those sands of time
Right up so that I don't leave here all alone

I don't know what the future will bring
But I am willing to sing 'til I drop [Gonna speed those sands of time right up]
Oh darling, I don't know how it happened to be
But when we met it was like future shock

What to do, me myself and I
It's gonna take a time machine
To get it right
And it's so cruel, I wanna take you home
I'm gonna speed those sands of time
Right up so that I don't leave here all alone

Proper Priorities

2007-10-11T20:31:00.000-05:00

So these days it seems as if everything is out of whack, not just the blood sugar, but I mean life in general. For one seems as if Ive been busted for playing games with God though I have been one to scream and curse at God for playing games with me in years past.

Today was just another talk, another walk, another go at the same boring life I've been living for too long. All I know is that right now there's a crack in the door and dammit I want more than what Ive got. I want to do more than I can.

Every morning it's the same thing: up at 4:30, get dressed, brush teeth, wash face, grab a smoke and head out the door to good ol' PJP (the initials for my company). Get there around 5 or so, sit and continue to smoke my lungs away while I clock in, get my lovely bonnet on and be on the line ready to go at 5:35 - I personally dont like to be any later I have this odd obsession with being either 10 minutes early or simply not show up at all. 2:15 pm Im done and out, but damn Im too zapped to do anything for the rest of the day regardless of how nice it may be and I feel guilty for that sometimes for not letting my DD play outside when all I want to do is sleep. Im in bed by 9:30 or 10, 10:30 the latest during th week, on weekends Im up 22-30 hours straight, goofing off, looking up deaf related articles or just plain reading books, newspapers and whatnot so I dont feel like Im disconnected from the world.

I understand that you should put God first and all else falls into place and how often we hear that in church, sometimes more often than we care to know, but Im sitting here wondering - why I, the one that can sign Amazing Grace in ASL, pray in ASL, and thank God in ASL can't seem to get it right with God. I mean, here I call myself 'Deaf Baptist', but am I really that or is simply a subconscious mockery of the denomination I say I am affiliated with - although I dont post strictly SBC links on here.

Sometimes I feel like if I put too much emphasis on church, Im missing out on incredible moments with my daughter. Im not the same Bible Thumping Babe I was 10 years ago - Im the cynical jaded baptist that believes in a God and a Savior and has given my soul to Him, but I have my doubts that God is going to do anything with me. Im just a speck, a dot, another ant marching along. Heck Im a single mom college drop out that works in a chicken plant and can never seem to get it right with anything.

Why? Because again as mentioned in a previous post - there is still one part of my life that I haven't given completely over to him, partly because Im not ready to and the other because if I let go of this I feel that Ive lost part of myself in the process. But then I have said that if losing myself means becoming a part of God, then I know Im becoming something beautiful too. So what's the hold up? Its a missing prayer and a longing for something I can never have.

I know as a single parent you are going in ten directions at once and it's difficult to decide what comes when although others may not completely agree.

I was asked today what I wanted to do with my life within reason - I said I honestly could not think of what. Im just lost at sea at the moment. If I am incredibly smart, how can one make such incredibly stupid decisions time after time?

With enough pounding myself down - I have a friend that has lifted me up more times than I can possibly count - chewed me out when I needed it most and ignored me when I needed to learn to stand alone. Well now that friend is in need. I want to return the favor but not sure how. I have been praying that God would open the door for me in that area and present a way for me to help. I understand what they are going through. It's rough, it's hard and all you want to do is walk away. I just want to let this friend know Im here I still care and Ive never stopped despite things I might have said and done. Jealousy causes us to do amazingly stupid things. You dont have to hide those feelings inside. Like a true human being - I stay with my friends beyond the fair weather.

So priorties are shifting as the world changes and sometimes its hard to keep up.

The MSSD Incident

2007-10-06T17:26:00.000-05:00

So some of you may have already heard about the MSSD incident where 7 students attacked another student and marked him with KKK and Nazi symbols. For those of you that don't know here is a CNN.com newslink:
The MSSD Incident

What bothers me most about this incident is not just the racist attitudes and hate crimes, but the fact there seems to be a double standard going on here through out the deaf community.

It is bad enough that people put down deafies just because we can't hear. Often I found myself labelled as deaf and dumb as a child and throughout my school years. When hearing people offend us we stand together as a strong group and say enough is enough.

It is bad enough that in the general world population people will commit crimes against another person just because they are black, gay, a woman, or if their religious beliefs are different.

But in the deaf community, I see double standards. We share our stories about being put down and shoved around by the hearing world, but amongst ourselves we find that we oppose Deaf homosexuals, Deaf blacks, Deaf women, and Deafies whose religious beliefs may be different from our own.

It is not right to be put down, and it is not right to put down others, but it is mind boggling to me when I see someone who's been put down so much, start to put down others. To me, it shows a lack of character. There's no need to go to a lower level to make yourself feel better. Surely one can rise above that and say to themselves, " I am not stooping the level of namecalling and hate crimes ". Sometimes the bigger person is the one that ignores the bullies and moves on with their lives and helps others deal with their issues in a healthy manner.

As for the student I hope he is OK, and I hope the other 7 have realized their mistake, use it as a learning moment in their lives and realize that everyone is the same, no one is better than anyone.

The struggles within

2007-09-24T19:45:00.000-05:00

So Ive been having an internal struggle with myself for a number of years, but just now finally realizing this isnt something I can't accomplish on my own nor is it something I am willing to openly share with the world, for my own privacy's sake I wont disclose exactly what it is. Now before you go making assumptions I will assure you it is not drugs nor alcohol, nor is any child including my own in any danger.

You see church is a wonderful cover up for any number of fleshen sins that can be hidden from plain view. Something just beneath one's skin and fighting to come out. Sometimes I have thought about coming right out with my personal problem and somehow in the process liberate myself. Only problem is, liberty often comes with a cost. For now Im not willing to pay that cost.

So today I took up Jamie's call to come ask for help - only I did not go directly to him. Not that I dont like him I just feel that if I were to disclose it to him, I would lose a friend - and honestly friends are few and far between for me. So I talked to Tim, again I never disclosed not feeling right to share with the world. So I asked for some outside prayer and maybe perhaps one extra prayer will help, or maybe not.

I will say this much I have a bizarre problem which makes me even more uncomfortable discussing it openly with anyone, even behind closed doors. OK so 2 people, maybe 3 already know but for now its not spread too far, and I like it that way.

ANd because of this problem I am very reluctant to have a close relationship with anyone. So I guess it's a "push them away before they push me away" sort of mechanism. Bad thoughts enter my mind at night, while listening to music and whatnot and its hard to escape, its wrong and I know its wrong. Im holding on to something I can't have. Sometimes I just tell myself just once more then Im done, but then I change my mind again and say no more whatsoever.

Sometimes I think my dress, my personality and whatnot gives it away - but maybe it doesnt and Im just overly self-conscious.

And in another self-conscious aspect - Ive realized Im much too round and unshapely for anyone to love me and see me beyond the fat. Maybe Im doing this for the wrong reasons maybe Im not but Im now officially on a mission to lose weight, albeit in a healthy manner which could prove to be too slow going for my short patience span. How do I plan to lose it? Very simple equation really- a woman needs 2,000 calories a day for healty living. Right now Im consuming an average of 2,500 -3,000 daily, way more than I need. Now I simply cut back my calories to around 2,000 plus or minus 100 extra calories - so basically for phase 1 of this diet no more than 2,100 calories a day max, but if I go over one day then I need to cut back a little bit the next. Next more fruits and vegetables, less junk. When I fix a plate of something at least half of the meal should be fruits and vegetables. The other half is split into quarter of meat and dairy. And overall staying away from sweets.
Finally, up the activity level. I already stand on my feet eight hours a day, but Im not doing physically demanding work that causes me to break out in a sweat. I have no goals other than to lose weight and get healthy looking again which in turn makes me more desireable. No one really likes to hang out with a fat person, much less see them as a potential mate. I know I dont - and its very hypocritical of me to do so knowing that Im fat too. Does this mean when I get skinny will I make fun of fat people? Absolutely not, but if they want to lose weight then I would be more than happy to encourage them along the way and tell them to stick with it, the smaller jeans will come.

So those are my two struggles - the thoughts and desires I need to do away with and the weight issues.

AWANA what?

2007-09-21T18:38:00.000-05:00

AWANAs
What in Zues' rear end is AWANAs you ask? Sounds like some sort of cheesy children's camp doesnt it? Well you're right about the cheesy part if you are an adult, but if your'e three it's a blast. Not to mention a free snack that mommy doesnt have to pay for. Well OK, the real reason for AWANAs is to teach young children the importance of Bible study, verse memorization (ok Im not all gung-ho about the verse memory for youngsters (3&4 year olds), but thats just me. Not only that they get to hang out with friends from school, and to make new friends with those that dont go to their school or daycare. To me it's all good fun and I get to act my shoe size rather than my age for a short while. Anybody that knows me, knows that Im just a big kid at heart. Ive been known to play with my daughters tinker toys or Lincoln logs sets. (Yes I did say that and yes they are still in production.)
So whay capitalize AWANAs, doesnt sound all that important - well no not in the great scheme of things AWANAs itself isnt all that important, but its good to go. AWANAs is actually an acronymn. Write this down if your'e absolutely particular:
Approved
Workmen
Are
Not
Ashamed.
Now if you look down the left sand side of those previous four lines you have AWANAs spelled vertically. Im not sure what scripture it relates directly to but Im betting its somewhere in the New Testament. AWANAs has three sub-goups or clubs. Cubbies, Sparks, and Truth & Training. Cubbies is for the youngest set - the three and four year olds, the next one up is Sparks, those are for those that are entering school - Kindergarten up to 3rd grade I believe, but someone who knows what they are talking about can leave a correction for me under the comments for this specific entry or leave me an email at dr_vfib{at}hotmail.com.
Truth and & Training is for what I call upper-elementary or at least that is what they called when I was stil in school. Its for grades 4-6th I believe, but nowadays they integrate 6th grade into middle school. Beyond 6th grade is the Youth Group but we'll get into that in a few years when Maddie gets there.
Now your'e probably sitting there thinking - yeah this is knock-off Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts wannabe club that instead of teaching children something useful, they shove Bible verses down their throats and the kids are expected to recite them from memory. Well, you're sort of right and mostly wrong.
Yes AWANAs is somewhat of a knock off of Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, but as far as structure, lessons taught and what not - it bears very little resemblence to those afore mentioned Scouting clubs.
Here they teach kids lessons such as making right choices, having morals, and whatnot. It also gives the kids some time to go over the classic Bible stories that we've all heard at some point or another, but maybe we dont have all the details down. I know I dont. I didn't exactly grow up in the church, and I admit its a little embarrassing to have these stories referred to in the lesson or storytime but not able to answer for the details of the story. For instance, the story of David and Goliath. OK we all know the story and there's some science in that story that seems to give it some credibility. But as for specific details such as knowing that this David is the boy King David that is the son of Solomon (or maybe he's the father of Solomon, either way there is a Father-Son relationship to Solomon somehow). But back to my main point is - these kids get repeated exposure to the stories, and the lessons they present. Not only do they get the details, they get to keep the lesson that they learned from it as with David and Goliath, the lesson of that story is anything is possible through faith and believing you can do it (although to Miss_P that lesson does have its limits :wink: ) You dont have to be big, strong, or powerful to bring down a bully. You can use your head to do so.
Making right choices and having your morals about you, these are foundations towards building a better childhood, better relationships, and hopefully these lessons will stay with these kids for rest of their life if their home life is consistent with what they learn at AWANAs as well as at Scouts, school, or anywhere else for that matter. This is the main point of AWANAs. Laying the foundation for a brighter future.
To find out what really happens at AWANAs see below. Oh yeah, there is a 56K warning - I have included a short video along with the pictures, so if you have a slow internet connection this may take a while to load, if not, scroll down mates!

You have to be deaf to understand:

2007-09-16T20:13:00.000-05:00

You Have to be deaf to understand the deaf
What is it like to "hear" a hand?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be a small child,
In a school, in a room void of sound --
With a teacher who talks and talks and talks;
And then when she does come around to you,
She expects you to know what she's said?
You have to be deaf to understand.

Or the teacher thinks that to make you smart,
You must first learn how to talk with your voice;
So mumbo-jumbo with hands on your face
For hours and hours without patience or end,
Until out comes a faint resembling sound?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be curious,
To thirst for knowledge you can call your own,
With an inner desire that's set on fire --
And you ask a brother, sister, or friend
Who looks in answer and says, "Never Mind"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What it is like in a corner to stand,
Though there's nothing you've done really wrong,
Other than try to make use of your hands
To a silent peer to communicate
A thought that comes to your mind all at once?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be shouted at
When one thinks that will help you to hear;
Or misunderstand the words of a friend
Who is trying to make a joke clear,
And you don't get the point because he's failed?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be laughed in the face
When you try to repeat what is said;
Just to make sure that you've understood,
And you find that the words were misread --
And you want to cry out, "Please help me, friend"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to have to depend
Upon one who can hear to phone a friend;
Or place a call to a business firm
And be forced to share what's personal, and,
Then find that your message wasn't made clear?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be deaf and alone
In the company of those who can hear --
And you only guess as you go along,
For no one's there with a helping hand,
As you try to keep up with words and song?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like on the road of life
To meet with a stranger who opens his mouth --
And speaks out a line at a rapid pace;
And you can't understand the look in his face
Because it is new and you're lost in the race?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to comprehend
Some nimble fingers that paint the scene,
And make you smile and feel serene,
With the "spoken word" of the moving hand
That makes you part of the word at large?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to "hear" a hand?
Yes, you have to be deaf to understand.

Written at 1971 by Willard J. Madsen, professor of journalism at Gallaudet University.

_________________

What is it like to be deaf?

"What is it like to be deaf?"
People have asked me.
Deaf? Oh, hmm... how do I explain that?
Simple: I can't hear.

No, wait... it is much more than that.
It is similar to a goldfish in a bowl,
Always observing things going on.
People talking at all times.
It is like a man on his own island
Among foreigners.

Isolation is no stranger to me.
Relatives say hi and bye
But I sit for 5 hours among them
Taking great pleasure at amusing babies
Or being amused by TV.
Reading books, resting, helping out with food.

Natural curiosity perks up
Upon seeing great laughter, crying, anger.
Inquiring only to meet with a "Never mind" or
"Oh, it's not important".
Getting a summarized statement
Of the whole day.

I'm supposed to smile to show my happiness.
Little do they know how truly miserable I am.
People are in control of language usage,
I am at loss and really uncomfortable!

Always feeling like an outsider
Among the hearing people,
Even though it was not their intention.

Always assuming that I am part of them
By my physical presence, not understanding
The importance of communication.

Facing the choice between Deaf Event weekend
or a family reunion.
Facing the choice between the family commitment
And Deaf friends.
I must make the choices constantly,
Any wonder why I choose Deaf friends???

I get such great pleasure at the Deaf clubs,
Before I realize it, it is already 2:00 am,
Whereas I anxiously look at the clock
Every few minutes at the Family Reunion.

With Deaf people, I feel so normal,
Our communication flows back and forth.
Catch up with little trivials, our daily life,
Our frustration in the bigger world,
Seeking the mutual understanding,
Contented smiles and laughter are musical.
So magical to me,
So attuned to each other's feelings.

True happiness is so important.
I feel more at home with Deaf people
Of various color, religion, short or tall.
Than I do among my own hearing relatives.
And you wonder why?
Our language is common.
We understand each other.

Being at loss of control
Of the environment that is communication,
People panic and retreat to avoid
Deaf people like the plague.

But Deaf people are still human beings
With dreams, desires, and needs
To belong, just like everyone else.

--Dianne Kinnee (Switras)

Guest Vlog Entry

2007-09-16T19:18:00.000-05:00

This is a guest Vlog entry by my friend Freaky Cat (not using real name for privacy reasons). Enjoy.

Transcript:
A man at the bar saw a beautiful woman so he went to her. He asked her, Can I buy you a drink? She said, no thanks! Alcohol's bad for my legs. He said Oh you mean your legs get swollen or what? She said no. Alcohol made my legs spread!

2007-09-09T19:44:00.000-05:00

What should I blog about? Im running out of things to blog about as I am trying to enter something new at least twice a week so you readers won't get bored. So if you have something that you see is blogworthy - send me a link and I will blog all about it. Some of my recent blog ideas have been:

Southern Baptist News - but who wants to read about musty old doctrines and types of thinking not well suited for the modern generation. Such as the witnessing tools that worked back in the 70s and 80s, are now ineffective due a shift in society.

Deaf news - but this seems to be something of a turn off for my hearing readers. They want to read something that relates to them and their world and something that interests them. This is a blog where I hope to bring the the hearing and deaf together and learn the only difference between the two groups is that the deaf can't hear.

Guest bloggers/Vloggers: Not sure who to ask to write a guest entry for this blog - its only 9 entries long and not that popular. I may add my blog to deafread.com sometime.

Sure the blog title says deaf baptist - but its not all about religion or the deaf congregation, its simply a small reflection of who I am and where Im coming from. Im not going to be a bible thumping militant nor a deaf power militant. Im not even remotely militant about any subject.

So this is your chance to give me some input as to what you would like to see on the blog.

You may contact me at dr_vfib[at]hotmail.com

Deaf Football Players

2007-09-08T18:50:00.000-05:00

In light of football season being started as of last week and the NFL season starts tomorrow on CBS - I thought it would be fitting to blog about deaf football players...

The first one is only a high schooler but is so good he is getting looked at by major universities such as Virginia Tech (The Hokies)- here is an article on the boy:
http://www.nbc4.com/news/14070315/detail.html

September 7, 2007 http://www.nbc4.com

WASHINGTON -- When Thomas Schaefer is on the football field, it's silent.

He can't hear the sound of hard hits, or the cheers from the crowd. Schaefer is deaf. The Robinson High School senior has lived with hearing impairment since birth.

But he said not hearing the noise on the field allows him to focus on the game he so passionately loves.

With the help of a hearing aid, Schaefer does have partial hearing in his right ear.

But he only wears the device when he's not playing because it gets uncomfortable during a game.

On the sidelines, Schaefer is a loud six foot three inch defensive end who is always jumping up and down and cheering on his teammates.

Schaefer, a two-year varsity starter and captain for the Robinson Rams, is so good that he's already received interest from several colleges, including Virginia Tech. The 18-year-old is thankful for the opportunity to play football.

Even though Schaefer is deaf, he's proving that with a disability, it's hard work and determination that makes him one of the most talented players on the football field.

And the other more known deaf football player: Martel Van Zant of OSU:

Here is a written transcript for the HH/Deaf readers out there

Deafness doesn't keep Cowboy cornerback from making big plays

By Michael Harris Daily O'Collegian
October 6, 2006

Stillwater, OK (CSTV U-WIRE) -- On any given Saturday between early September and late November, football stadiums across the nation erupt as teams tear onto their fields, fight songs blaring, to the thunderous approval of their fans.

Cheers and applause rain down from the stands, creating a din that is as much a part of the game as the ball itself, but for Oklahoma State cornerback Martel Van Zant, there is only silence.

Van Zant, who was born deaf after his mother contracted chicken pox during pregnancy, couldn't even hear the roar of the crowd after he caught the first interception off his career earlier this season, but he still feeds of its energy.

"Because of the noise and everything, I can feel the vibrations in my body," Van Zant said. "I can't hear the people, but I can see the people when they clap. I can see that, and it makes me get more motivated and play better."

Van Zant, a junior from Tyler, Texas, uses sign language to communicate to his interpreter, Allie Lee, who then relays his messages to teammates and coaches.

"I'm signing it and my interpreter is saying it, but they're my words," Van Zant said. "He's my mode of communication. If I didn't have an interpreter, I wouldn't have a clue as to what's going on."

Lee said he heard of Van Zant when he was being recruited out of high school and contacted Cowboy coaches about interpreting for Van Zant on the field.

"It's been a good learning experience," Lee said. "There are interpreters all over the U.S. in sports, but to be at this level is pretty interesting."

After becoming a starter on the Poke defense this season, Van Zant has tallied 11 tackles and an interception in OSU's four games.

Generally, Van Zant said, secondary coach Joe DeForest signals calls from the sideline with a kind of sign language "slang" and Lee communicates any audibles. Playing the game, Van Zant said, just comes naturally.

"It wasn't really hard to learn football because I'm deaf," Van Zant said. "I can go out and do whatever I want.

"Just because I'm deaf doesn't mean I'm not capable."

His resolve isn't going unnoticed.

A week ago, Van Zant was nominated for the FedEx Orange Bowl FWAA Courage Award - an award created by ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski that honors athletes who have displayed exemplary grit in the face of adversity.

Still, Van Zant said the obstacles he's overcome don't make him exceptional.

"It shows that anybody can do it - not just me," Van Zant said.

It's this kind of ethic that has made Van Zant a fan favorite. When Van Zant appeared on the Boone Pickens Stadium video board and signed "M-A-R-T-E-L" during his introduction before the Cowboys' season opener, he received the loudest ovation of any player, and his triumph over adversity has made him an inspiration to many.

"All these kids that look up to me as a role model," Van Zant said. "I've received letters from all these kids, and when I went to the state fair the other night, I met some deaf kids out there who recognized me from TV. I think it's pretty cool."

Van Zant's deafness has had a positive impact on the lives of his teammates as well.

"At first I get picked on because I'm the deaf guy, of course, but that's fine," Van Zant said. "I understand - it's not anything mean. I'll take the ribbing, and I'll give it back, too. I like all my teammates and they're like my brothers now."

In fact, Van Zant said some of his teammates are trying their hands at sign language to better communicate with him.

"There's a lot of them that are taking the ASL [American Sign Language] class," Van Zant said. "A lot of them start out with the alphabet and the basics.

"I help them out with their homework and things like that."

Van Zant and the Cowboys return to action Saturday, when Oklahoma State travels to Kansas State. Kickoff is set for 2:35 p.m.

(C) 2006 Daily O'Collegian via CSTV U-WIRE

Now as you know Im not a DEAF POWER militant - but however Im out there to try and dispel some myths and mis-truths about the deaf and HH among the hearing. Yes there are certain jobs a deaf or HH person should not do due safety concerns but as far as living a life - the only thing we can't do is hear. It has to be a good attitude and a good outlook on life. Just because Im deaf does not entitle me to any special treatment, but I do have to make accomodations such as carrying pen and paper with me when I go to starbucks to have a coffee. At wal-mart I may come across as a rude customer, but I generally sign "thank you" to the cashier as they hand me my change back. Also I have a friend or my mom make phone calls for me if I am using a phone that doesnt have an adjustable volume control. Does it make me any less independent or less productive or even any less of a hard worker? I dont think so.

MY parents once believed that because I could not hear I should not participate in school sports, I went out in the8th grade against my parents wishes. By the end of the season I had learned the drills, and most of the plays. But I had to continually remind the coach that I am HH so whenever we were practcing I had to make sure he kept himself visible when he called out a new play, or if we changed from 5 pt gaurd to man-to-man defense. Some of my teamates did not like it but I was a benchwarmer so whats it to them anyway.

But my senior high coach had a very bad attitude towards my deafness and refused to work with me on it. I was not asking to be on first string, I was simply asking that hey could you please alert me when things change? I ended up not getting much practice, barely got to suit up and I ended up quitting and went to track and cross country full time. I ended up putting my good work ethic to good use and ended up doing fairly well. 2 state cross country meets, several 5K ribbons, and spring track season placement - yeah I could say I was fairly good but no scholarships.

Hopefully in January I'll make my re-debut into the running world again and run the no-name 5K in town. Im not going to flag my deafness around but I sure ain't going to feel ashamed of it.

On the field or off - deafness shouldn't stop you from doing what you love.

The Heart of A Razorback

2007-09-01T09:41:00.000-05:00

The cool crisp air signals a new beginning, a new era for the University of Arkansas Fayetteville, Arkansas sports club. The Hogs Football Club has a top Heisman Trophy contender in their ranks, Darren McFadden. The Hogs have moved on from the Mitch Mustain era to usher in the McFadden Era. With Mitch Mustain removed from their ranks, Casey Dick once again steps up to the starting plate to possibly lead the hogs to a long - awaited SEC (Southeastern Conference) Championship.

Heres a 2007 Preview of our beloved Razorbacks....

Follow up to: ASL in the Mainstream...

2007-08-28T20:41:00.000-05:00

Short Clip of Darren Hayes learning the sign language to Crash and Burn.

Who Would Have Thought? - Darren Hayes

2007-08-28T18:08:00.000-05:00

This is not only a cool sound - the video is absolutely amazing! The animation is STUNNING!

EDIT: 9/1/07 - The animation was done by Richard Cullen - well done mate!

Lyrics:
Nobody told you that the heart is like a deep deep freeze
So many lies
So much of it broken
And nobody told you deep within a well so cavenous
That maybe I could shed some light on

Who would have thought it could be amazing?
Who would have thought the tiny courageous?
Who would have thought the love so belated
Could save me and bring me back to you?

And nobody told you the everyday's a silence that no one heard
A river swells and overwhelms you
And noboody told you deep within a heart so ravenous
That maybe I could spare a beat for

Who would have thought it could be amazing?
Who would have thought the tiny courageous?
Who would have thought the love so belated
Could save me and bring me back to you?

I had to find you
Had to let you know
That you aren't alone
We didn't make the rules
I had to find you
Had to get right back to you

Oh no,
I had to find you
Had to let you know
That you aren't alone
We didn't make the rules
I had to find you
Had to get right back to you
It's always been you

Now tell me,
Who would have thought it could be this amazing?
Now,
Who would have thought the tiny courageous?
Just tell me,
Who would have thought the love so belated
Could save me and bring me back to you?

For God's Grace IS Sufficient...

2007-08-28T09:22:00.000-05:00

Just the other day in an un-named deaf discussion forum - there were two threads pertaining to spousal abuse and mistreatment in the physical sense as well as the emotional and mental sense. This seems to be coming to the forefront of my mind almost daily whether it is on Dr. Phil, on the internet or even in the news. As some of you may or may not know, after I seperated from my husband of 9 months - yes months - I lost my house and was stuck with bills illegitimately put in my name. In matter of 3 days I became homeless with an infant and thousands of dollars in debt. One of the members of this forum pointed out to me - that all of those things are just material things and if I wanted to place my self-value into those things I was going to continue to live an empty life and even though have not seen nor heard from my ex-husband in 4 years, I was still continuing to allow him to control my thoughts, actions, and decisions.

This morning it all seemed to come together during Brother Jamie's sermon which seemed to hit the nail directly on the head. The specific verse I am going to refer to is in Phillipians Chapter Three when Paul says, "For these things are rubbish," in reference to the worldly wealth that we strive to attain so that maybe our children and grandchildren may have an inheritance. Those things are great ideas as they provide for the future, but they are nothing, rubbish, refuse, and filth compared to the riches that God provides. So many times when we find our selves in hardships and financial struggles, we often believe that God is going to provide financially, when the truth is that God may provide for us in the relationships that we have, the grace of having hope in our lives knowing that we will live eternally. So often I find myself wondering if I just entered into the lottery, I could possibly win extraordinary amounts of money and that my financial worries and hardships would be solved for several years, often telling myself - it woud be OK if I tithed the 10% as recommended by the church. But the truth is, its greedy and Im trying to justify it any way possible.

You see I have realized that God has provided for me immeasurably in the last 4 years. When I thought I was homeless - I am reminded that I am seeking shelter in my parents home. When I feel that I am financially incapable, I am reminded that I have sought and found work. When I feel that I have come to the end of my road - God shows me a path to follow, where there are opportunities waiting to be fullfilled. I have put too much emphasis on the wrong things, prioritizing my life backwards. I am reminded of the illustration that a professor uses to show the fullfillness of ones life. First he fills a jar with sand representing the little things in life - hobbies, bills, and commitments. He asks the students if anything can be added, they reply no, the jar is full.
Next the professor fills another jar with pebbles representing the larger things in life such as school, work, and family. When he fills the jar, he again asks the students if the jar is full - they again reply yes, the jar is full - nothing else can be added. Next he fills a thrid jar with rocks, a thrid time he asks the students if the jar is full - they reply yes the jar is full. He asks them - are you sure? The students said they were sure. Then he demonstrated-
He added in the pebbles and they filled the gaps left by by the stones, the students looked on. They again said the jar was full - the professor demonstrated further -- he poured in sand which again filled the gaps left by the stones and pebbles. Then the professor announced - now the jar is full because we first put in the largest most important things first - God and family, then followed by lesser but still important things, such as school, work, and bills, then followed by less important things that we find joy in such as hobbies, commitments, and friends. So you see - that if we prioritize our lives correctly, putting God, faith, and family first and foremost, the other things in life will fall into place, then we realize our lives are TRULY full.

Jamie has often said "For Gods Grace is sufficient" I dont think I really understood the meaning of it until today when things finally came together in my mind. Gods grace is sufficient to see that I have provisions. My life is what I make it, I dont have to put my self worth into material things that I once thought were important - they are - but not nearly as important as they once were in my mind. I still have my self-respect in knowing that I am not out ruining other peoples lives for my own self gain. I am not out continually giving up my body for a little pleasure. I still have my daughter, and more importantly, I still have hope and faith in God that I will make it.

Proper Church Etiquette

2007-08-25T17:21:00.000-05:00

Deaf or hearing - anyone will get a good kick out of this:

RE: Hearing student in Deaf school.

2007-08-18T10:52:00.000-05:00

This is in response to SeekGeo's vlog on YouTube.com. To get the initial part to this post please view his vlog below:

I hope you dont mind me posting your video here Geo!

So anyway I thought about his post and realized he made many good points.

1.) Why dont we allow 'exchange students' from American mainstream schools to spend a semester or a year enrolled in a deaf school, not mandatory but optional for those who are considering working with the Deaf as a career, whether it is Interpretation at public speaking events, or for Deaf students needing ASL interpretation at mainstream schools, a VRS/TTY Relay operator, or even Deaf ministries in churches.

2.) It will give students an exposure to a different way of life for someone who has a handicap - they cannot hear, so they must rely on a visual means of communication. This will also help people to realize just because you cannot hear does not mean that life is a silent confusing world. The Deaf can enjoy many things that hearing people do - including music. I myself often cannot hear the lyrics well enough in music to enjoy songs with words, so often I listen to techno, house, or what hearing people have termed as "video game music" (pshaw - whatever you can have fun with this - this is how I got in on the rave scene a few years back and enjoyed it.)

3.) There would be fewer stereotypes of what a deaf person is, or what they look like or how they act. So often I hear the term "deaf and dumb" and it really grinds my nerves. I grew up hearing this from my classmates, my brother, and often any boyfriend that my cousin had at the time. All during highschool I never dated. I was the odd one, the geek, whatever you want to call it. What these kids didnt understands was that I was not mentally deficient as they perceived, but rather I did not hear some things. People often do not realize that the person you could be talking to could very well be deaf. Not every deaf person signs, some grew up strictly oral for whatever reason their parents chose. There have been some successful deaf people, there are 2 deaf actresses in mainstream hollywood. Alexander Graham Bell grew up with a Deaf mother, and I should not even have to mention Helen Keller OR Beethoven, whom composed his most well known works at age 22-24 and was post-lingually deaf at age 3 or 4 if memory serves me right.

Even though these are excellent points that I agree very much with there are couple of things that are going to hinder a hearing student from enrolling in a deaf school.

1.) Deaf school enrollment is on the decline in light of student-on-student sexual assualts as well as teacher-on-student molestation. For sources on the subject click here for in-depth stories of a group of students at Seattle School for the Deaf:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/specials/deafschool/
It is lengthy but engrossing and well worth the read.

2.) More and more students are being mainstreamed into hearing public schools that are having specialized programs to meet the students needs such as hiring an interpreter by the district, offering CART typist - someone that types the classroom conversation on to a laptop for the deaf student to follow in real time as it happens. Also many larger public schools as well as colleges and universities are offering ASL (American Sign Language) as a foreign language for students to full-fill a foreign language requirement in order to graduate. Currently UALR offers an ITP (Interpreter Training Program) for students who wish to work at the ASD (Arkansas School for the Deaf) or as interpreters for the deaf elsewhere in the state or wherever they may be qualified to take such a position.

3.) Safety concerns - would a hearing student be able to take advantage of a deaf student that could jeopardize their safety? Maybe, maybe not - but is the risk worth it to parents and educators alike?

I am however not stating that schools should be segregated by hearing and deaf, neither should classes. The real world is not segregated - hasnt been since the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's. You could be waiting in line at Wal-Mart behind someone who is deaf, but you would not know that. The car next to you on the interstate could be driven by someone who is deaf - there is nothing hindering someone who is deaf from driving, only the blind. The lady behind the jewelry counter at JC Penneys could be deaf - but how would you know? Like blindness there are also different degrees of deafness. Personally I am profoundly deaf in my right ear with a 65 db (Decibel) loss in my left ear. But you would not know that because I grew up orally, I have almost perfect speech and could easily pass as hearing. A friend of mine works as a CNA for the local hospital - she is deaf and requires hearing aids to hear well enough to do her job. But you would not know that because she too went to a mainstream school and she wears powerful BTE aids (Behind-the-ear hearing aids). Her speech is well enough that she often passes for hearing unless you noticed her aids.

Most deaf people that you meet will not tell you right off they are deaf, but they are not going to flaunt it every chance they get.
I still wish for a time for a hearing student to get the chance to spend a year at a Deaf school to learn about the deaf community - but unfortunately there are obstacles we (the deaf) have to overcome ourselves. We have to get the hearing world to take us seriously when we decide to do something that stereotypically we cant or shouldnt. It is sad today to think that some people will think or say something such as "Oh look that deaf boy wants to become a mechanic - but how will he communicate with his customers?"

or even something like this " Oh that daf girl has gotten married, I hope she can be a good wife to him because she cannot hear well."

I am for giving these same people the chance to REALLY get to know the deaf community and realize we are not just a bunch of nutcases that think we are entitled to the same rights as the hearing because we deaf. Actually we are for the most part. The only thing we cant or shouldnt do are jobs that actually do require hearing such as civil service jobs or the military.

Those are my closing thoughts - giving someone a chance to truly embrace the deaf culture would open many many doors for us, especially those in the employment sector where some employers deny us jobs simply because we cannot hear (not all employers are like this, but there are a few out there that have) and they give a different exscuse such as the position was already filled by someone who was more suited or qualified for the job.

Have a good weekend!

Forget YouTube when youve got GodTube! (sense the sarcasm)

2007-08-16T12:44:00.000-05:00

Now I may be Southern and Baptist but that dont make me Southern Baptist and on top of all of that, I am not a fan of religious knockoffs of certain sites, brands, TV shows, etc. For one, it never works. Rule number one - dont copy - get something original going.

Now to my main point - GodTube. This is a ridiculous knockoff of YouTube.com for religious nut jobs that insist that everything they own must be from a Christian - based store, if it does not come from a LifeWay or other large Christian franchise it is of the Devil and must never ever be entered into or touched.

Now bfore you get all riled up and think - I thought you were a churchgoer, why are bashing Christians? Let me put it out there for ya - Im not bashing anyone except those that take Christianity too far to the point that it is no longer a religion but a cult and a way to control things that are beyond their control and to control others by luring them in with Godliness that is based on 99% works and very little faith.

Now I think this is mostly a knock-off YouTube (YT from here on out) that is to become the TBN of the internet. Who knows we may see our next Tammy Faye and Jim Baker come out of this GodTube (GT from here on out). Ive not watched any of the videos yet but from what I have seen alot of this stuff is Catholic based. Nuffin'wrong with that - God takes all kinds. But I hope they dont start putting up huge banners saying the more money you donate the more blessings you'll receive while we two pocket the cash for ourselves so we can go vacation in Cancun every summer while you still live your miserable life in a run down trashed out trailer in Holler County, Arkansas. Uh huh Jims in jail Tammy's dead - boy they retired well didnt they???

Like the Bakkers this will start off with good healthy intentions then they start getting distracted, then derailed, and finally off into the ditch and hanging precariously close to losing it all before they realize they've fed themselves the rope, they're hung and its over. Whoever the creators are of this GT need to remind themselvs daily no matter how popular the site is, it will never be mainstream, the money may be better than flipping burgers at McDonald's, but like the site, the money should not be for themselves but for Him.

Its amazingly odd how one can get lost in Church and end up leaving to save themselves. I did that. I got too involved, too close, and ended up losing myself in a negative way that caused me to pursue Godliness in an unhealthy way. Do I blame it entirely on the church? Absolutely not, but the magical thing about it all is that in all reality we have an understanding God that says - when we lose our caringness and generosity, He holds our hands and says He understands our pain. I do however blame it on the people that were mis-managing, and conducting themselves unbecoming of the Gospel that they took an oath to uphold. When this happens people are driven away from the church.

In my own conduct I know and understand that there are times that even I am unbecoming of a Christian that I say I am. I curse (as a matter of fact cursed in the house of God yesterday - oops - Jamie wont know....shhhhhhhhhhhh - it was accidental. Tim wil vouch for me, lol.

Back to my main point. We dont need to go out beating people over the heads with the Bible, we dont need to go around banging on peoples doors and the firt thing we ask are you a Christian? Personaly if you come to my house and I dont know who you are and you start preaching to me right off - it is a big turnoff, you'll have a red nose from the door being slammed in your face. I have done it once before, I would not be surprised if I did it again. What worked in the 70's and 80s no longer work. Religion and truth are relative in todays society. GodTube is another variation of this seems like. ou cant preach like you did 20 years ago and expect the same results is all Im saying. If you really want to reach out to the lost - be their friend first and foremost. If they show an interest in church, feed that interest but dont shove it in. If they are going through a rough patch - tell them you are thinking of them - but also pray for them as well. Dont just sit and pray for 20 years and expect something to happen, sometimes when you keep praying and praying and nothing happens -- thats God telling you to get off your fanny and actually do something useful.

Spend time with people OUTSIDE your comfort zone - eventually your zone actually EXPANDS and yor actions around these people and for these people will speak volumes of the person that you are. No witnessing required.

GodTube is a mockery of the Christian sub-culture that says we are too pure and holy for the world so we create our own fantasy world, so we can stay out of the real world. We dont watch secular news because its Devil fed. We dont buy secular books because they promote witch craft. We will continue to put the Mormon church under Cult Groups in our bookstores because we have our own view of what a person should or should not believe.

(Im personally not a Mormon nor do I agree with their doctrines, I do however have friends in the Mormon church and are actually quite levelheaded).

GT - is basically the TBN of the internet - flip through it without a second thought and you'll be better off without it - Christian or not.

http://www.godtube.com/search_result.php?PHPSESSID=6580251222d5cce83a1aabf3de51c479e386a71669&search_id=deaf&search_type=search_videos

ASL in the mainstream, ASL in the Christream....

2007-08-14T20:36:00.000-05:00

OK so welcome to my new blog affectionately called Deaf Baptist. I am not a big blogger but if you see something noteworthy for deafread.com to pick up then, by all means send it up.

My first post is going to be about Darren Hayes and his video "Crash and Burn". Now before you think yeah all of that was make up and crack up his nose I can guarantee you that yes he was pale in real life because he has a long term virus that makes him well exhausted. He woke up the prior day with a fever well over 100 and feeling like he had been hit by a truck. So he was taken to a doctor and was ordered to cancel the taping of his visit to the Jay Leno show. Being the trooper that he is, he refused and the show went on. The next day was the taping for the video "Crash and Burn" and as you can see in his eyes he looks like he could crash and burn at any moment due to his ongoing illness.

The video itself was taped using alot of extras and Darren was only in a few clips. At the end of the video Darren completely stops singing the chorus and SIGNS it, wooho! (Lets hear it for ASL!) This is very moving for me in a sense that this is one of my favorite songs by far. Now before you ask - "But your deaf! how do you enjoy music?" I am actual Hard of Hearing or HH as its coded amongst the deaf. I can hear enough to enjoy music but I prefer music without words since I cant enjoy the lyrics anyhow. But Darrens voice is high enough that I can enjoy the lyric as it carries quie well over the music enough that I can hear. Now as for me I can sign as well and I am currently working on the ASL to Amazing Grace, I have already completed the ASL for "Here I am to Worship". I will give credit where credit is due, first to God and partly to Darren for giving me the idea - instead of having music to words - do just an instrumental and use signs instead. I think this will be very moving. Because everyone knows the words to Amazing grace - they will be able to follow the harmony and follow the signs.

Anyway back to the main part of this post -- the video clip of Darren Signing the chorus to Crash and Burn. Also if anyone knows where I can obtain a GIF clip of this please let me know it would be greatly appreciated.