Sunday, April 13, 2008

The silliest things people have said...

OK this is something I can no longer ignore. Over the course of the last several weeks I have heard many stupid comments in abundance from random people. Some of the best I've heard recently? Read on.

1. Them:'I am thinking about getting a part-time job at the hospital working just one day a week for some extra money.'
Me: 'Oh you are huh?'
Them: 'Yeah, but I just feel so tired, I hope Lisa (last name witheld) lets me go home today though.'
Me: 'Wouldnt it just be easier for you to work everyday at your one job rather than try to get a one day a week part-time job along with your 5-6 day a week job?'
Them: 'What?'

2. Them: You know what was wrong with the baby?
Me: What?
Them: The doctor said she is allergic to eggs.'
Me: Oh that's too bad then, no green eggs and ham for them, eh?'
The next day- Them: (same person) You know what was wrong with the baby?
Me: She's allergic to eggs?
Them: No, she had an infection.
Me: Oh well I hope she gets better.
The next day - Them: (Same person) You know what was wrong with the baby?
Me: No - but Im sure its different than the last two maladies.
Them: The doctor said she may have a stomach virus and she threw up all over the bed 5 times last night.
Me: Well then I feel sorry for the both of you.
The next day - Them: (Same person) Do you know what's wrong with the baby?
Me: Yes I do - she suffers from an overly dramatic and incompetent caregiver that cannot assimilate the truth and may or may not suffer from a mental disorder in which she uses untruthfulness and storytelling to gain sympathy and pity from others.
Them: What?

3. Them: I think I may be pregnant
Me: Oh, thats not good.
Them: Yeah a guy tried to rape me.
Me: Oh, did he actually penetrate?
Them: No but he tried to take my clothes off and he beat me with a cane pole from down by the river.
Me: Oh was this an immaculate conception?
Them: No, I was on birth control!

4. Also after having read a certain blog which I will not name for privacy reasons, the author stated that earning a doctorate degree was likened to having a job - only problem is this - the author to my knowledge has never held down a job, nor even needed to hold down a regular 40 hour per week job. Uhhh the only rebuttal I can offer is this - come down to PJP with me bud and work line 10 cutting shoulders for a while, then let's compare that sitting in a chair reading books all day to standing on a stretched aluminum stand on concrete floors for 8 hours a day 5-6 days a week. And you have to cut shoulders all day - there is no rotation of line jobs each round like there is at other companies. Oh and by the way your surrounded by non-English speaking immigrants and crabby middle aged menopausal women for line bosses. I don't know about you, but I would much rather go for earning the doctoral degree rather than spend my life cutting poultry.

Thats my top 4 for now. I will add more silly sayings as I get them. There must be something in the water though because Ive been getting alot of them as of recently.